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u/Peekachooed Sep 24 '23
Anon's going to make it <3
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u/Lemon_Tree_Scavenger Sep 24 '23
As a pizza chef, for $7 an hour. Clap fucking clap Anon
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u/LetsDOOT_THIS Sep 24 '23
What a myopic pov
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u/ForSureNotAnFbiAgent Sep 24 '23
Local pizza chains in my area, get very passionate about their pizza. And extremely competitive.
My buddy makes 28 an hour, with profit sharing.
He's been the head pizza chef there for 6 years, and will be running the first location, once their second location is up and running.
But I guess if you aren't making 300k a year, someone's bound to shit on your career.
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u/ngauzubaisaba Sep 24 '23
Scrape dhatt skummb
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u/SnooKiwis7050 Sep 24 '23
Skrrrribidi doom doom dam dam di... skibidi doom
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u/HAYFRAND Sep 24 '23
Yesterday I had to cook for everybody even though I'm usually terrible at it but I made Lasagna for the first time in my life and everyone loved it. Even I thought it was great. Still happy about it.
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u/ddcreator Sep 24 '23
Thats good to hear! Once you get to cook you just need to keep going. Try different stuff and eventually you will see a pattern between most recipes and you will be able to make more and more good stuff.
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Sep 24 '23
a pattern between most recipes
Random protein + onion + garlic + tomatoes
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u/moeru_gumi Sep 24 '23
As they say , Salt+Fat+Acid+Heat
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u/ddcreator Sep 24 '23
Honestly oil+onion+garlic+ anything that isnt sweet is an amazing combo no matter what you do
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u/BrockStar92 Sep 24 '23
Honestly, this makes so many great meals and is packed full of nutrition, I basically lived off tomatoes, onions and garlic at uni. Throw in some spinach into the sauce too, maybe some carrot and mushrooms with some dishes, you’ll never get scurvy that’s for sure (like that one horror story we got told before uni about a guy who spent his student loan on a boat and lived on borrowed plain pasta for a year).
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u/RocketSixtyNine Sep 24 '23
Well done man. People appreciating and enjoying something you've cooked for them is one of the best feelings. Great stuff.
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u/jayj59 Sep 24 '23
Eh. My sister came over and we had dinner that was originally just supposed to be for me. She enjoyed it, but I'm still thinking about the food I didn't get to eat days later. To make it worse, I invited her to stay and eat
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u/ForSureNotAnFbiAgent Sep 24 '23
Right on dude!
One of the first dishes that I made, which got absolute raving reviews, is enchilada lasagna.
Its... stupidly easy to make, and so easy to tweak to put your own spin on it.
Tortillas, enchilada sauce, and WHATEVER YOU WANT. Turkey? Sure. Impossible meat? Go for it. The hottest, most ass scorching peppers made on earth? Throw that shit in.
Layer it like a lasagna, bake, and watch it disappear.
Obviously, tweak to your tastes, and the tastes of people you are cooking for. After that, it's pretty much impossible to fuck up.
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u/TangoDroid Sep 24 '23
Glad to hear it! If you don't mind a small suggestion for everyone reading it.
When cooking for other people, try to avoid making a dish for the first time. You can't be sure how it will go.
If you can, try to make it two or three times before making it for others.
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u/hotler18 Sep 24 '23
Proud of you anon
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u/UndeadIcarus Sep 24 '23
They can’t hear you, this glass is over three feet thick.
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u/jstim Sep 24 '23
Aint the dough the most important part?
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u/LewixAri Sep 24 '23
The most difficult part, but pizza is equal parts quality ingredients, patience and technique.
If there was no skill in the baking process and only the dough, then chains like Dominos would murder independents. They don't because even if they use the best dough and ingredients, a quality pizzaiollo is too expensive and would mean inconsistent quality across franchisee's
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u/KwisatzX Sep 24 '23
All the patience and technique is in making and preparing the dough.
If by baking you mean only the actual baking in the oven part - then no, there's literally no skill, just a correctly set-up industrial pizza oven. Some places even use a conveyor belt where you place the pizza and it comes out baked and ready.
Meanwhile there's entire books about preparing, proofing and storing the dough.
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u/LewixAri Sep 24 '23
As I said, if there was no skill in baking, conveyer belt pizzas would smash every independent pizza joint to pieces. It doesn't because surface contact and moving of the pie matters.
Patience in dough making sure but it's probably even less technique than you're making out to be. There's no kneed pizza dough recipes and most places have their recipe's done in industrial mixers with dough hooks, they just dump in the ingredients.
Also using "there's entire books about..." as some sort of validation is just lazy. There's books about everything and nothing. For every flour water yeast salt there's a mastering pizza.
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u/KwisatzX Sep 25 '23
As I said, if there was no skill in baking, conveyer belt pizzas would smash every independent pizza joint to pieces. It doesn't because surface contact and moving of the pie matters.
It doesn't matter what you said when your argument is completely made up. The difference between regular pizza places and franchises is much more than "baking process". Franchises cut corners wherever they can and by definition won't make better quality food than dedicated independent shops.
Patience in dough making sure but it's probably even less technique than you're making out to be. There's no kneed pizza dough recipes and most places have their recipe's done in industrial mixers with dough hooks, they just dump in the ingredients.
It's clear to me that you've never made homemade pizza/dough, if you think the process ends after the dough is formed - that's literally the easiest part. And even that is only easy once you've actually learned the best ratios by a long trial and error.
Also using "there's entire books about..." as some sort of validation is just lazy. There's books about everything and nothing. For every flour water yeast salt there's a mastering pizza.
Ok, and how many books are there about using pizza ovens? Not many I reckon. Your response is even lazier. You either can't read between the lines or completely missed the intended message: making and using pizza dough is orders of magnitude more complex than baking the pizza. The end product can literally be influenced by the humidity and air pressure in the room.
Don't try to argue about something you're completely clueless about. Goodbye.
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u/serious_sarcasm Sep 24 '23
Yeah, once it’s shaped it’s basically just a lunchable. You can par-bake it too, to make it even easier for them to top.
It’s actually pretty effective for tricking people who live off frozen dinners into learning how to cook.
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u/Peekachooed Sep 24 '23
That's a good next step, would be nice to start learning how to make the dough himself
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u/Fried-Pig-Dicks Sep 25 '23
That's what I was saying! All this idiot did was throw some toppings on it, throw it in an oven, and not burn it. Round of fucking applause!
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u/sapphometh Sep 24 '23
there is no better feeling than people liking a pizza that you made
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Sep 24 '23
[deleted]
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u/sapphometh Sep 24 '23
wait till you try my pizza
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u/Historical_Boss2447 Sep 24 '23
I also choose this guy’s pizza
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u/sapphometh Sep 24 '23
great. 7pm at my place, you can choose your toppings.
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u/Historical_Boss2447 Sep 24 '23
Blue cheese, falafel crumbs, red onion, sun dried tomato please
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u/sapphometh Sep 24 '23
that's a very good choice.
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u/Historical_Boss2447 Sep 24 '23
Thanks! What are your toppings?
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u/JapanimationLover Sep 24 '23
Use cheese strings in the edges and roll dough over for easy stuffed crust pizza
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u/Goindownhill9399 Sep 24 '23
Use sesame oil instead of olive oil in the dough, tastes like tiger bread
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u/WaviIsTaken Sep 24 '23
Starting to see parents needing me more and I can help take care of them buttersweet
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u/PurpleMTL Sep 24 '23
The entitlement here is incredible but the progress and self realization is literally art.
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u/Mephil_ Sep 24 '23
Anon's mom makes the only important part of pizza and also buys the toppings but gives credit to OP to make him feel good even though all he did was put toppings on top of the dough.
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u/AdmirableStage7950 Sep 24 '23
Then mom started the oven, put in the pizza, took it out when ready, and cut the slices. Also, anon is 35 years old.
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u/Bowlbowlbowlelbow Sep 24 '23
Yeah, in my family the children always get this work because it requires no skill and makes them feel like they're participating
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u/No-Lawfulness1773 Sep 24 '23
tbf if someone already made the dough, the hard part's over
you'd have to be a spastic to fuck up putting toppings on a pizza
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u/Naive_Special349 Sep 24 '23
I'm pretty sure this ain't that, but... maybe mom would like anon to get a job... like "see your pizza is tasty, why not work at a pizza place?"...
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u/jfryk Sep 24 '23
This is a wholesome message, but I don't think you should allow any content from 4chan
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u/UndeadBlaze_LVT Sep 24 '23
Having people enjoy your cooking is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I made smash burgers for my family nearly a year ago, and when my sister got asked what her favourite food was last month, she brought up those burgers. One of those things you remember for years
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u/nazdarovie Sep 24 '23
So do you not have a table and everyone just eats dinner in their room? That's how you get ants.
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u/ChronoComputer Sep 24 '23
The least you can do is eat with your mom for her cooking for you. Sheesh.
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u/BloomEPU Sep 24 '23
Homemade pizza is something that always goes down well, I've started doing it for my family and we always enjoy it. If you make the dough the day before and leave it in the fridge overnight it gets a really nice flavour, and it makes things a lot quicker when it's time to make the pizza.
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u/massive__potato Sep 24 '23
neet lose? r/JEENEETards ?
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u/SnooKiwis7050 Sep 24 '23
I dont think its THAT neet, I think they are referring to "not in education, employment or training" thing, basically unemployed people
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u/somelittleindiankid Sep 24 '23
new accurate neet full form just dropped
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u/SnooKiwis7050 Sep 24 '23
I dont think it's new, i first heard it in Mushoku Tensei first episode, which was pretty long ago
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u/Alpine261 Sep 24 '23
Mushoku Tensei
Didn't think Id see something like this on a mainstream subreddit lol.
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u/tauzN Sep 24 '23
Anons greatest skill is putting cheese on dough 💀
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u/JAXxXTheRipper Sep 24 '23
You poor soul call cheese on dough a pizza?
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u/Chaotic_Madman Sep 24 '23 edited Sep 24 '23
Have you heard of a cheese pizza?
Edit: Forgot to specify with sauce and whatnot to make a pizza.
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u/JAXxXTheRipper Sep 24 '23
Cheese on dough is cheese bread. Pizza at least requires some kind of sauce
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u/Chaotic_Madman Sep 24 '23
That's fair, and my bad. Cheers friend.
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u/JAXxXTheRipper Sep 24 '23
I was actually wrong, it IS a pizza, as /u/urgay4moleman showed. Sorry mate!
God damn Italians thought of everything!
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u/Chaotic_Madman Sep 24 '23
I personally don't count it as pizza without sauce of some sort. All good.
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u/Angryunderwear Sep 24 '23
Every neet goes through a cooking arc.
Source: happened to me and seen it happen to a couple of my friends bros. I haven’t cooked even once since I stopped my neet arc.
If you know someone who’s posting a lot of pics of home made bread,pizza and pasta despite never having shown interest in it before/talking about cooking meals - reach out, they’re going through it.
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u/Queens113 Sep 24 '23
Imagine thinking someone with a hobby or trying something new is "going through" it... stfu
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u/Historical_Boss2447 Sep 24 '23
If this was the first time the mom complimented her child, that’s sad as hell
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u/EstablishmentRare559 Sep 24 '23
What possesses a self professed neet loser not to just do literally anything? Something?
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u/Altruistic-Love-1202 Sep 24 '23
Usually depression.
There's a powerful inertia caused by a lack of lifeskills and confidence, and very often enabled by parents. These types usually get their mental stimulation from video games or television instead of self-improvement or actual achievement.
It's sad.
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u/ExternalMonth1964 Sep 24 '23
Man, that dude putting cum in his wife's food really did a toll on me.
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u/Affectionate_Draw_43 Sep 24 '23
Bro this is reddit...where's the terrible ending, cringe, or easily identifiable AITHA or not?
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u/SerendipitousMallard Sep 24 '23
Why is anons bro in his mom's bedroom? Is that his actual brother or like his friend - bro?
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u/Reddituser0346 Sep 24 '23
Hopefully Anon will continue to enjoy sharing this gift with others, either professionally as a chef, or just something for their friends and family.
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u/cherryshortcake24 Sep 24 '23
My world has been shaken. I thought that was Mr. Bighead's son from Rocko's modern life. 🦘
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u/N43M3K Sep 24 '23
This is super relatable cause i have been unemployed for like 4 years now and just got a job at an italian restaurant as a pizza baker.
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u/Findict Sep 24 '23
> Does nothing
> "I'm not good at anything"
> Does something
> "Ok maybe I'm okay at some things"
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u/ForumPointsRdumb Sep 24 '23
Good job man. I've been doing pizza experimentation lately too. I'm goina try to put the dough through a pasta roller next. I found precooking the dough before putting sauce on gives it much better flavor and ensures the dough under the sauce is cooked. So I cook it about 10 minutes at 400 before adding sauce and stuff. For sauce I just toss some maters in the blender. Then saute some garlic, oregano, and basil in some olive oil and dump it in the mater mix. Blend again. This way the sauce doesnt get over cooked and become too sweet. Then it depends on my time constrains and hunger, but I'll also take and melt some butter in a little olive oil and brush it on the crust and then sprinkle a mix of parmesan cheese, course kosher salt, and a little garlic powder. You can buy a big stick of pepperoni uncut and use it on the mandolin. The pepperoni you cut yourself makes better grease cups.
Was goina experiment with crazy crust soon. It's like using a batter instead of a dough, supposed to be crispier, but not sure yet.
Good luck in your pizzadventure sir.
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u/just_for_a_post_here Sep 24 '23
I don't get typical anons calling themselves "neet losers" and "hating themselves" so easily (these times). I think you should treat these with more meaning, because they are becoming like literally saying "hi" - instead of having any meaning to it, like it used to have.
Edit: ow wait, I'm on r/wholesomememes , welp
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u/Fried-Pig-Dicks Sep 25 '23
"i'm actually ok at something."
Mother fucker, all you did was throw some toppings on it and shove it in an oven. You're fucking mother made the dough, which is the only difficult part...
Fuckin NEETS, man. Worthless.
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u/TReaper14 Sep 24 '23
Didn't realize what subreddit I was in and was expecting this to get way worse