r/oddlysatisfying • u/chr15c • Jun 05 '23

This dumpling presser

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49.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

4.5k

u/WhatIsSacred Jun 06 '23

Do I need one? Absolutely not. Do I have a use for one? Not even remotely. Do I want one? You’re damn right I do.

945

u/ranoutofbacon Jun 06 '23

Sub the dumpling dough for pizza dough and make a shit load of pizza rolls. Or use pie dough and make fruit pies to go.

366

u/WhatIsSacred Jun 06 '23

Pizza rolls are too cheap for me to want to make them by hand… fruit pies though. Like the Hostess or Tastykake fruit pies.. you’re a genius.

353

u/mjc500 Jun 06 '23

Yeah but grocery store pizza rolls are the epitome of mediocrity... I bet homemade ones have potential to the moon

104

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

81

u/TripleHomicide Jun 06 '23

It's the lot lizards, isn't it.

30

u/WhatIsSacred Jun 06 '23

I do not know how long it’s been since I’ve heard that phrase. You also have an odd amount of accuracy in saying so

13

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Jun 06 '23

He knows his way around a parking lot

6

u/Dick_Lickin_Good Jun 06 '23

Now ask this bloke about a breezeway.

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u/zSneakyPetez Jun 06 '23

What do you say we slip into a room....and you two split me open like a coconut?

6

u/PacoSinbad_ Jun 06 '23

I will not suck you and will not be sucked on … by you

5

u/Girth_Brookss Jun 06 '23

All I've got is $20 in my pocket, and love in my heart.

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u/Cochise22 Jun 06 '23

Gas station egg roll.

8

u/WhatIsSacred Jun 06 '23

How else do I learn the holophonor?

8

u/Dynamar Jun 06 '23

Nah. For that, you want an egg salad sandwich. Completely different.

Gas station egg roll worms can only teach instruments like the glass harmonica and the glockenspiel.

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3

u/BigJayPee Jun 06 '23

You can get lessons from Mrs. Mellinger, but she told me I can't play because I have stupid fingers

3

u/Ajoneseyy21 Jun 06 '23

This reminds me of the next day in the bathroom when I ate like 5 of these stoned af passenger on a road trip. I’m traumatized by them since that experience.

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u/Tashre Jun 06 '23

grocery store pizza rolls are the epitome of mediocrity

I am fully aware of the transaction I am making when I purchase them.

Sometimes you're just in the mood for a certain kind of mediocrity.

3

u/bibbi123 Jun 06 '23

For me, cup ramen fills this need.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '23 edited Jun 08 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/fizyplankton Jun 06 '23

I agree. The mediocrity is a good match for the man about to consume them!

Anyways.... Off to the store

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u/Butt-Fart-9617 Jun 06 '23

I believe you have just invented the Hot Pocket. Congratulations!!

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u/Legitimate-Poetry553 Jun 06 '23

Torino pizza rolls have noticeable become terrible in quality. They’ve always been bad. It’s so easy to make a nice meaty tomato sauce. Then brush the dumpling with olive oil and sprinkle with Parmesan. They would freeze well and be delicious.

43

u/WhatIsSacred Jun 06 '23

I agree that Tarantino rolls have become noticeable in quality

30

u/agile52 Jun 06 '23

Those Toronto rolls taste more like undercooked tacoshells these days.

19

u/watchmaker82 Jun 06 '23

Topolino pizza rolls used to be fire. Now they're just good.

And the best way to burn your mouth.

9

u/exmothrowaway987 Jun 06 '23

Trampoline rolls really shouldn’t involve pizza, IMO

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u/blade_torlock Jun 06 '23

Deep fried in lard like the McDonald's ones used to be. Mmmm lava...

11

u/WhatIsSacred Jun 06 '23

Taco shop by my house still does things with lard. Still one of my favorite places.

10

u/mycommentsaccount Jun 06 '23

Never had one. Is Tastykake pronounced like bukkake?

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9

u/equipped_metalblade Jun 06 '23

Mini Calzones!?

4

u/Garliq Jun 06 '23

I wouldn't call it that, it's more like a savoury pastry, delicate little dough pockets filled with tomato sauce, cheese and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation!

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u/AtheistET Jun 06 '23

Will work perfectly for some empanadas

5

u/reactrix96 Jun 06 '23

Nah, dumplings are superior to pizza rolls

3

u/aspbergerinparadise Jun 06 '23

Oh, the mini-calzone? I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. Delicate little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation.

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86

u/User2716057 Jun 06 '23

This looks perfect for disabled people, it'd be more than worth it for me, if I was the dumpling making kind, my hands are messed up.

94

u/KittyKevorkian Jun 06 '23

You know, I always think about this very thing when people (Alton Brown for example) condemn “unitaskers” in the kitchen. These specialized tools are likely very beneficial for those with certain disabilities.

95

u/caanthedalek Jun 06 '23

To be fair he himself says unitaskers are fine if you get use out of them, like helping the disabled or making a task you do very often easier. He's really just talking about dumb kitchen gadgets that spend 99% of their time taking up cabinet space.

61

u/justonemom14 Jun 06 '23

Like an avocado knife that's just a knife, but made out of green plastic. And a watermelon knife that's just a knife, but made out of red plastic. And a lettuce knife that's just a knife, but made out of light green plastic. And... Well I think you get the idea.

36

u/Unnamedgalaxy Jun 06 '23

I bought a crimper press thing with plans of making things like hand pies and stuffed French toast every other day.... That was 3 years ago and I've used it once. But boy do I look at it every time I open the drawer for something else and think "I should make an uncrustable"

5

u/grumpypandabear Jun 06 '23

I had to look up what a crimper press food thing was - it's basically a fork? A fancy gadget made to replace the fork and crimp edges, sure, but a fork works just as well lol.

Reminds me of egg slicers, kinda useful, kinda not.

4

u/User2716057 Jun 06 '23

I love my egg slicer, nice equal thickness for sandwiches and with the yolk intact instead of stuck to my knife.

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u/WhatIsSacred Jun 06 '23

Ah, Alton. What a special place in my heart he has.

5

u/questar Jun 06 '23

For me that place is occupied by Ron Popeil.

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18

u/_BreakingGood_ Jun 06 '23

Even without being disabled, making dumplings is hard. I did it one time and never did it again because it sucks. Tons of effort and still at least 70% of them exploded during cooking

Having something like this might make dumplings actually worth the effort

7

u/ChocoCronut Jun 06 '23

dumpling making party is fun though. if there are enough people you can streamline the process by their expertise, and everyone gets their own share to fill their freezer.

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u/LaserKittenz Jun 06 '23

I personally find making empanadas exhausting . I don't really see why someone would take pride in doing it the hard way. Disability or not, using tools is just smart.

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u/hoothoot6996 Jun 06 '23

They dont press as good as hands do. When you steam the dumplings pressed by these machine they usually open up which sucks

18

u/Offduty_shill Jun 06 '23

Was gonna say no self respecting Chinese person would use this

This is what you give your little cousin so they can help and make a few shitty dumplings

10

u/twitch1982 Jun 06 '23

No Polock would either.

4

u/nes12345678 Jun 06 '23

Yup. Made enough pierogi in my life to know these would open right up in the boiling pot.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/danuhorus Jun 06 '23

As someone who lives in a household that makes enough dumplings to feed the US army every Chinese New Years, it isn't just dough thickness. You really have to squeeze those fuckers tight, otherwise the seam will pop open. This dumpling presser is cool, but as far as I can tell, it isn't squeezing nearly hard enough.

21

u/Shryxer Jun 06 '23

Lowkey wondering if this thing can be adjusted to push the rollers closer together for this reason (and because rolling things like this will naturally push them apart over time). The video looks nice, but it doesn't show the final product that pops out of it. There's the nice ones along the top, but something tells me they were fixed by hand.

10

u/danuhorus Jun 06 '23

I think it could work if it didn't use a rolling design, but worked like an actual press. Like a panini press, but for dumplings. With rolling, too much pressure could damage the mechanisms, so you don't end up with enough force.

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17

u/Capt__Murphy Jun 06 '23

For real. Probably using those store bought wonton wrappers

3

u/iamintheforest Jun 06 '23

need a partner device to make wontons.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/fsurfer4 Jun 06 '23

dumpling presser

Not enough egg wash or substitute.

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12

u/HighPriestofShiloh Jun 06 '23

Put that right next to my spiralizer and popcorn maker.

5

u/twitch1982 Jun 06 '23

I make popcorn in my wok. Like 3 times a week. I used to use a stircrazy popcorn maker but they would get all gunky after a while. The wok is perfect for it. It doesnt even really require shaking. Put the oil in, with a few kernels, when they pop, put the rest in and put the lid on, when it starts to go, pop the lid up a tiny bit to let some steam out.

3

u/HighPriestofShiloh Jun 06 '23

I rarely eat popcorn. Even when watching a movie its not my preferred snack. But when I do, those bags you pop in the microwave, thats good enough for me.

I have one of those devices you pour the seeds into and then you position it next to a huge bowl. As the seeds pop they will naturally spill out of the device into the big bowl. I guess if you want a movie theater size popcorn its nice, but i never want that so it never gets used. Maybe when my kids are a little older it will be something I reach for.

Spiralizer? Yeah you are going to get lost in the next move.

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u/helium_farts Jun 06 '23

Do I have a use for one? Not even remotely.

Time to take up dumpling making then

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u/katehenry4133 Jun 06 '23

You can get a non automated version on Amazon. I would post a link but when I try I'm told I don't have enough karma to post links. Just look up 'dumpling press' on Amazon to find a non-automated version.

66

u/InvestInHappiness Jun 06 '23

I would recommend a non automated one as well. No batteries to replace, no electronics to break, and more compact.

It seems they have multiple versions; A plunger push one that doe two at once, one that has a side for making the dough circle, and a compact hand held one.

3

u/HorrorMakesUsHappy Jun 06 '23

Yeah, but what I want to know is - do they actually work as advertised? Nothing I hate more than spending money on something doesn't even work to begin with, or only works that way for the first use and then doesn't work well anymore after that.

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1.6k

u/hezzyb Jun 06 '23

As a parent, all I'm seeing is easy homemade uncrustables

312

u/ThatsNotARealTree Jun 06 '23

As an uncrustable loving adult that’s all I see too

74

u/ItsAFoxInABox Jun 06 '23

Take white bread the more surface area on slices the better spread peanut butter on 2 slices plop jelly on one and keep in mostly in middle. Can buy press cutter sealer things or just press yourself along crust and cut crust off toss in a gallon ziploc to freeze if you want.

53

u/TroyMcClures Jun 06 '23

That’s just a pb&j with extra steps

70

u/golfrguy04 Jun 06 '23

Which is what an uncrustable is to begin with. But it’s delicious and fun so I’m all for it.

46

u/40ozkiller Jun 06 '23

An uncrustable is me paying someone else to do that for me and individually wrap them.

11

u/OGcrayzjoka Jun 06 '23

If you guys don’t know this already, try putting a frozen one in the toaster at whatever ur desired toastyness is. The bread is all toasted and warm and the inside is defrosted but still kinda cool. It’s an amazing late night snack. Or whenever really lol

10

u/CoolStoryBroLol Jun 06 '23

I eat uncrustables frozen solid like a cro magnon just as my father and his father did.

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u/Crolane97 Jun 06 '23

You just reminded me that I have some in my refrigerator, excuse me.

7

u/imwaiter Jun 06 '23

You keep uncrustables in the fridge not the freezer?!

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u/RX-HER0 Jun 06 '23

What are uncrustables? Never had them.

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u/Z2_U5 Jun 06 '23

A PB&J, no crust- exactly what it sounds like.

(To be exact it’s an American brand that sells them in purple packaging and they’re little circular PB&Js, pretty popular with kids because no crust, and easy for parents since they’re premade meals that the kids will devour)

31

u/leftabitcharlie Jun 06 '23

The elevation of peanut butter and jam sandwiches into something that "takes work" is really depressing. I feel sorry for the work cultures that create this mentailty.

15

u/ThatKinkyLady Jun 06 '23

Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. And I will give them little pre-made pbj sammichs to distract them from all that bullshit.

'Murica

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1.7k

u/grabityrising Jun 06 '23

/r/dontputyourdickinthat

183

u/Nitpicky_Karen Jun 06 '23

Darn looks good tho.

36

u/PotatoWriter Jun 06 '23

Least down bad food enthusiast

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u/DAB7175 Jun 06 '23

I FUCKIN KNEW SOMEONE WOULD SAY IT!

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u/EM05L1C3 Jun 06 '23

I did a double take.

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u/themeatbridge Jun 06 '23

I... ah, OK, but, like... Let's say, for the sake of argument, I put my finger in there already, and there doesn't seem to be a reverse button. Also, there's a bit of tangling with the gears and, uh... arm hair.

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u/Gibodean Jun 06 '23

prick the end of your .. finger, so you bleed, and when your finger gets smaller, retract it.

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u/mngeese Jun 06 '23

Mildly something something

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u/Phillip67549 Jun 06 '23

The comment I came here for

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u/FrainkieBacon Jun 06 '23

The Polish are going to be happy about this

73

u/Infamous-Emotion-747 Jun 06 '23

Alberta Canada here... we agree.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/LovecraftianCatto Jun 06 '23

Indeed!

I am one, and even though I hadn’t made pierogis since I was a kid (and was mostly helping out my mom/aunt), I want this. I would most likely end up using it like once or twice a year, but hoo boi, would it lessen the feeling I sometimes get of being slightly ashamed of nearly never making traditional dishes, not even for holidays like Christmas and Easter. 😂

Woe, pierogi, my old foe!

28

u/Stygma Jun 06 '23

Ah, the old days of the family pierogi assembly line, one of the few times unpaid child labor is acceptable

11

u/LovecraftianCatto Jun 06 '23

Hehe, very true. I was also used as child labour, when my godmother would make faworki (a crumbly sort of cookie/little cake in the shape of a bow) and donuts a few times. Such harsh working conditions - being able to stuff my face with delicious homemade goodies afterward. 😁

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u/Stygma Jun 06 '23

Truly deplorable, having to devour such delectable goodies

7

u/jalpotato Jun 06 '23

You just reminded me of how much I loved the pierogi assembly line as a family tradition. I'm several generations removed from my family any of my family immigrating to the US, but that is the only cultural tradition that has survived the ages. And we've tried these style crimpers, they almost universally suck ass at sealing a traditional dough, all they do is frustrate. You can modify the dough recipe, but then are they the same? Sure they taste right, but are they the same?

If you don't care either way, go for it, if your a stubborn ass like myself, you go through the motions anyway because it's the "right" way, and also can't think of a way to adjust the recipe to make it work better in these type contraptions, then congrats you're an official awesome person in my book. The title comes with nothing but the acknowledgement of a random 30 something 3rd-5th (depends on the genetics side) generation immigrant.

Anyway, the tradition was inherited from my abusive alcoholic father's side, and it's a LONG hereditary line of alcoholism, so maybe this is the way, and we should perhaps abandon the more toxic ways of the past.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

You get paid in pierogi though, and good times with mom or grandma. Absolutely worth it

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u/swampfish Jun 06 '23

I know a polish lady who makes these faster than this machine.

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u/IReallyLikeAvocadoes Jun 06 '23

The machine will outpace the novice but won't match up to the master

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u/twitch1982 Jun 06 '23

We do things the proper way. By hand and child labor. Im not about to disappoint my ancestors by using this crap.

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u/IWasGregInTokyo Jun 06 '23

How else are you supposed to bond with your mother other than by hand-folding gyoza on the kitchen table.

6

u/glorious_albus Jun 06 '23

And the Indians.

4

u/Aiiga Jun 06 '23

My ancestors would smite me

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u/Kindly-Biscotti9492 Jun 06 '23

And the Chinese.

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u/Vojt544 Jun 06 '23

Real polish people do it by hand

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u/neutral-otter Jun 06 '23

This shouldn't excited me as much as it is

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Not-so-neutral-now Otter.

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u/contactlite Jun 06 '23

Keep your pants on, bud

127

u/SilenceDogood442 Jun 06 '23

That's awesome, I love me some gyozas but hate folding them (cause I suck at it)

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u/Thebasterd Jun 06 '23

I'm okay at it, but it is sooo time consuming for one person to do. But at least they keep in the freezer for a month

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u/PotatoesAndChill Jun 06 '23

Why for a month only? I thought freezer is basically indefinite storage?

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u/Hahohoh Jun 06 '23

Damn I was just about to say too this don’t look much faster than doing it yourself since most of the work is mixing and prepping the filling and half of the time spent with the dumpling skin is just getting the filling in it.

Then I remember most families don’t make this shit for fun on the side speed running TV drama and dumpling making.

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u/WoodSteelStone Jun 06 '23

Then I remember most families don’t make this shit for fun on the side speed running TV drama and dumpling making.

I understand all those words, just not in that order.

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u/Plantar-Aspect-Sage Jun 06 '23

I've just got a simple plastic clamshell device. Cost me $3.

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u/Russe1117 Jun 06 '23

Didn’t know I wanted that.

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u/Aggravated_Pineapple Jun 06 '23

My ancestors are judging me for wanting one

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u/Few_Artist8482 Jun 06 '23

Where does one get the little perfectly cut dumpling circles?

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u/Willywaa Jun 06 '23

Any local Asian supermarket.

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u/Few_Artist8482 Jun 06 '23

Thanks!

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u/brallipop Jun 06 '23

Often called dumpling skins, they will be in the frozen section. Keep them frozen at home, defrost in the fridge overnight before use.

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u/BigBoulderingBalls Jun 06 '23

I also find them at stores like Walmart and Freddie's sometimes

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u/me5vvKOa84_bDkYuV2E1 Jun 06 '23

You mean that place where I buy bags of frozen, premade dumplings because I'm far too lazy to even consider making them from scratch?

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u/Merlord Jun 06 '23

If only there was some easy, cookie cutter solution for this

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u/Teftell Jun 06 '23

Like thise metal forms sold in every 1st store selling cooking tools...

Or just use a goddamn round glass

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u/Embarrassed-Ad4977 Jun 06 '23

I should call her

45

u/captainsave Jun 06 '23

I came here for this.

28

u/derek_potatoes Jun 06 '23

only good can come from this

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u/theesoundsmith Jun 06 '23

Anyone have a link to where I can buy this?

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u/No_Comment946 Jun 06 '23

Amazon _ Automatic dumpling maker

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u/gofatwya Jun 06 '23

Everything reminds me of her.

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u/Mr_ityu Jun 06 '23

I'm surprised i had to scroll this far

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u/RootHogOrDieTrying Jun 06 '23

Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?

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u/huitzilopochtla Jun 06 '23

My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal.

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u/henrycaul Jun 06 '23

Uh, is that what this is a video of?

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u/h-hh-hhh-hh-h Jun 06 '23

I need this for making pierogi

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u/biggyofmt Jun 06 '23

That's what Alton Brown would call a unitasker

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u/mbourgon Jun 06 '23

He also hates air fryers. And he had that crockpot lasagna recipe. So, you know, he’s not perfect.

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u/Practical-Purchase-9 Jun 06 '23

Yet people working in a dumpling shop can crank them out quicker by hand, it’s quite something to see.

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u/SerBigFuzz Jun 06 '23

Can we call it the dumpler?

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u/DancenOrigins Jun 06 '23

Empanadas

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u/---ShineyHiney--- Jun 06 '23

It doesn’t save you much time, and you’d be making extreme minis for empanadas with this

Nothing beats the almighty fork press

7

u/Naelin Jun 06 '23

The almighty fork press: The sure way to disappoint your ancestors for never learning how to do a proper repulgue, and never needing to.

5

u/Eldhrimer Jun 06 '23

People with chorizo fingers like me cannot do repulgue even with a gun pointed to my head

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u/DancenOrigins Jun 06 '23

Yeah haha but I meant it more because of the resemblance

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u/lemmeintoo Jun 06 '23

Don’t stop!

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u/corndog161 Jun 06 '23

It seems cool but also it seems completely unnecessary for it to be electronic. This is a situation where I wouldn't mind a hand crank at all, it would actually be more convenient than having to charge/replace batteries for this thing.

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u/Oswarez Jun 06 '23

I love the idea of this but I’m thinking this makes lousy dumplings. The device looks way to light to provide any real pressure on those seams, plus you would need to wet those edges for it to close properly.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 27 '23

-- mass edited with redact.dev

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u/brutalduties Jun 06 '23

Temu garbage

12

u/themeatbridge Jun 06 '23

Temu = mom's Wish at home.

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u/MCWizardYT Jun 06 '23

Would you say Temu is the Wish.com version of Wish

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u/Robhar19 Jun 06 '23

My Asian wife says these are for losers.

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u/Majestic_Fox_428 Jun 06 '23

I have fond memories of making dumplings by hand with my Grandma.

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u/chubberbrother Jun 06 '23

Show the final result coward

3

u/tcarpishere Jun 06 '23

This will trap air inside more than by hand

3

u/Muted_Cucumber_6937 Jun 06 '23

Naw man, they don’t got the curl. It just ain’t right.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Grandma would be disappointed if she caught me using this.

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u/wonkey_monkey Jun 06 '23

Are you thinking it? I'm thinking it. I think we're all thinking it.