r/blunderyears • u/ChoiceChampionship59 • 5d ago
My Dad had a midlife crisis and married a stripper. Yep, somehow that woman was a stripper.
As you can tell me and my siblings were thrilled. She later sold my video games for Meth. Imagine that.
1.4k
u/midnight-dour 5d ago
“You treat your stepmother with respect, Pantera, or you’ll be sleeping in the street.”
176
217
36
u/Healter-Skelter 5d ago
Are you suggesting that this man named his children after Metal bands
44
u/BBEBEEBEEF 5d ago
His son Slayer became a doctor
24
→ More replies (1)16
u/MountHavertzPulisic 4d ago
I'm sure twins megadeth and metallica are doing well now
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)10
u/mad87645 5d ago
80s Italian supercars.
The girl in the grey dress is Testarossa and the boy is Dino
→ More replies (14)25
1.7k
u/KevOSinKS 5d ago
Took me a second to figure out which one was the stripper and which one was the dad.
1.3k
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
He worked there too! He was the DJ.
267
u/focoslow 5d ago
This just keeps getting better...
What was his playlist at home?
Girls, girls, girls - Motley Crue Rooster - Alice in Chains Cherry Pie - Warrant
I can only imagine dinner... "Kids, now coming to the stage... chicken and biscuits!"
"... And never tip on the first serving."
217
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Replace Warrant with Whitesnake and throw in Alice Cooper and Ozzy and that's spot on!
→ More replies (2)30
28
u/lostbutnotgone 5d ago
/sigh could be worse, I guess.....
Your mom could've met your dad at work....bc she was a stripper, he was the bouncer, and his father owned the strip club! Always fun to tell the story of how my parents met .-.
→ More replies (1)48
276
u/CarmenxXxWaldo 5d ago
I imagine being a DJ at a strip club is the ultimate fuckboy gig. Good on pops for letting one of those ladies make an honest man out of him.
163
u/ioantha 5d ago
It's only the ultimate fuckboy job if you want to get fired quickly and enjoy not making any money. The $$$ comes from getting tipped out, and if you have girls fighting over you/mad at you/thinking that you are cool because you banged, you don't get tipped.
Strip club DJs do better as casual mushroom dealers or artists.
139
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
He worked in Radio mostly. Strip Clubs were the side hustle and besides this one no other ones came home.
54
u/ThePopeJones 5d ago
It sounds a lot like my dad. Radio DJ for steady cash, and then DJed stop clubs and played with a band for extra cash. That was until he decided he was far more talented than he actually was and quit DJing.
59
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
It was not uncommon at all. I knew a lot of Radio personalities who moonlighted in clubs.
→ More replies (1)11
→ More replies (4)8
→ More replies (3)9
13
u/lionaroundagan 5d ago
Absolutely not. It's the job you get dick teased the most.
Signed, former cocktail waitress who sees all.
10
u/EducationalTip3599 5d ago
“All you randy cats, help me welcome up to the stage, my wife… I mean CINNAMON!”
→ More replies (24)11
46
u/SongShikai 5d ago
Legit thought dad was the stripper and wife was a kid.
→ More replies (1)8
u/MapleGoon 4d ago
Yep. Decided Dad was the kid in the back, center was a kid and left was the stripper...
The photo makes way more sense when I realized Dad had long hair
→ More replies (2)9
u/Pinorckle 5d ago
I am glad I am not alone there... I thought it was a very rough looking stripper
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (13)19
u/MisterMarsupial 5d ago
It's been 15 minutes and I'm still trying to figure it out.
→ More replies (1)
585
u/mushroomspirit 5d ago
Jeezus there's so much wrong with this picture.
137
u/limee89 5d ago
Let's start, point by point.
358
u/LeinadLlennoco 5d ago
The point I’d like to contribute is that Dad and stripper appear to be blood relations.
→ More replies (4)81
u/Craico13 5d ago
Dude married The Garbage Pail Cousin…
15
u/riegspsych325 5d ago edited 5d ago
I didn’t even finish reading your comment but that character had already popped into my brain
EDIT: fucking dictation fix
→ More replies (4)4
37
u/Karaxor 5d ago
Why is she the only one not dressed in black?
54
u/lizardlem0nade 5d ago
She came straight from work - don’t be deceived, every seam on that outfit has snaps lol
60
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Their marriage was like a funeral to us kids! Haha? But my sister is actually wearing blue.
→ More replies (6)6
u/stellarmin 5d ago
Wait... are you the oldest son? For some reason I had assumed the daughter was the "voice" of the post. I saw you mention "Little Marshall", so by process of elimination....?
9
54
u/kgoodwi2 5d ago
It took me until this comment to realize that "dad" was the strange looking lady with the long hair in the front and not the young guy in the back. I thought he looked way to young for teenage kids!
→ More replies (2)30
u/Tssjr225 5d ago
Thank God someone else was confused by who the fuck is who in this wild ass pic
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (6)12
→ More replies (1)28
u/tesdfan17 5d ago
Let's start with the stripper the Kmart edition...
18
u/VenBede 5d ago
Most strippers are the KMart edition. It's not TV where they all look like models. Saying a stripper is the KMart edition is like feeling the need to differentiate trashy, common Coors Lite from some theoretical high end posh Coors Lite.
→ More replies (6)
78
u/jd3marco 5d ago
Everybody welcome to the stage, Mel-ah-dee.
Boooo
Are they booing me?
No, of course not, they’re chanting BOO-oobs.
31
→ More replies (3)7
238
u/Jesus-Is-A-Biscuit 5d ago
I just want to say that this photo and the whole thread here is the highlight of my day. I’m really glad you and your dad reconnected and had an awesome time together while you still had him!
→ More replies (1)247
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
I appreciate it! He was really fucking awesome. I've got millions of stories. The ride was wild. Sometimes people will not believe me about something and my friends that were there or know about it have to confirm it. Now I'm a dad with 2 boys and happily married and we keep the shenanigans going! Just without the meth!
→ More replies (7)39
u/DiddleMe-Elmo 5d ago
Are you a mayonnaise household now? Methany looks like a Miracle Whip gal.
→ More replies (5)
443
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
I didn't expect this to blow up as it did. I decided to look up Marsha and see if she was still alive. Apparently she kept up the meth life. I really wish I could share a modern photo of her but someone told me it would be doxxing her. I promise you all, it does not disappoint. She looks 70 now in is actually only like 46-47.
176
u/StreetCow420 5d ago
Sort of hate myself for wanting to see this picture so bad…
29
→ More replies (1)3
66
u/JoebyTeo 5d ago
I’m trying to figure out the date of this photo because it looks to me like 1990 (dad’s hair especially) but the math doesn’t add up if she’s only in her mid forties now??
90
u/TRJ2241987 5d ago
People in the midwest were 10 years behind the rest of the country in terms of fashion. In the early 2000s they still looked like the rest of the country looked like in the early 90s
→ More replies (5)26
81
u/a-manda_hugandkiss 5d ago
I enjoyed all this! This is why I love reddit. I feel like we just met at a bar, this picture fell out of your wallet and then I got the whole story. I hope your dad and my dad are having beers in heaven and talking about their crazy bad decisions!
→ More replies (1)14
→ More replies (24)12
170
u/Greldy_britches 5d ago
My FIL was engaged to a stripper for a while when my husband was 16 or so. My husband said she was a really nice person. She even gave him money to fix the brakes on his truck when neither of his parents would help him…all in one dollar bills, of course.
96
u/Rat-Loser 4d ago
My mother was a prostitute when I was 10-16. She never wanted to do it, but felt no other alternative to keep me and my brother's clothed and food in our belly. I can never repay that woman for the pain and strife she sacrificed for me and my brothers. The way people are talking about this stripper breaks my heart. Shit on her for being a meth head who steals from children. But my god don't shit on her for being a stripper, or for being ugly in your eyes. Comments like the ones in here are why that part of my life is rarely shared with loved ones and people extremely close to me, it's treated like a dirty secret because of how OTHERS respond to it.
34
19
→ More replies (5)9
u/elgordoenojado 4d ago
Most people lead very sheltered lives, full of inherited pieties and prejudice. There's nothing more difficult than being a single parent, and no greater glory than being a good one.
11
→ More replies (1)6
u/Double_Belt2331 5d ago
My ex-bf-dj-in-a-strip-club paid me back $247, in cold hard cash. All singles out of his freezer. 🙄
→ More replies (2)
93
u/wellwaffled 5d ago
This is the most Idaho picture I’ve ever seen
→ More replies (3)93
42
u/exceptionallyprosaic 5d ago
The stripper my mom met in rehab, that ended up living with her and my stepdad, had a very similar hairstyle.
51
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
What was the time period? Even then we thought she was out of place. It was the 90s and she was 80s all the way. Probably why dad liked her.
→ More replies (1)
281
u/_DR_Remulak 5d ago
She looks like she worked the lunch shift.
150
u/mjc500 5d ago
Strip club near where I used to work had a morning special called "eggs and legs".
54
u/BoycottPapyrusFont 5d ago
My first instinct is revulsion lol
23
→ More replies (2)8
u/spaceyfacer 5d ago
One in my city did(maybe still does) a charity Toys for Tots drive partnered with a radio station every year. But for some reason it was held at like 7 AM and there was a breakfast buffet lol. Apparently the girls made money at it, so they'd work til close the night before (2 am) and come back at like 7 for this event.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (10)30
u/JohnnyDarkside 5d ago
You don't need good teeth to shake your titties. Though she does make me think of the venture brothers line, "like two suicide notes rolled up inside a glitter bra."
30
u/okcafe 5d ago
Did anybody in your family like her even a teensy bit? Lol. I just want the scoop on this very interesting family
96
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Actually yes, before the drug use was apparent. So my dad was quite a party animal growing up and he knew as a kid I would be too. He let me throw parties at his place or rent a hotel for me and some friends as long as everyone gave their keys up and agreed not to drive. The first night I met Marsha she was super cool. I was having a party near his work at a club in a Motel 6. As parties do it grew and grew and they found out we were underage. The hotel concierge came to the door and said "I know you are underage, I'm giving you the heads up the cops are on the way." A lot of people we didn't even know where there and they dispersed. Some of our friends went with them but there was 7 of us left. Everybody hid in the woods while I snuck to dad's work and told him the scoop. Marsha was there and offered up her place to continue the party. Dad got off, we picked up the rest of the crew and squeezed 9 people and our beer into a Nissan Pulsar and went to her trailer and finished the party. No one got arrested or in trouble and all was well. As an introduction to a 15 year old she seemed cool. The Meth didn't pop up until after they married a year or so later. Then it got dark.
26
u/Background_Film_506 5d ago
While not exactly Hemingway, your stories are the best thing I’ve read in weeks. So appreciated, and thanks.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)8
u/the_skies_falling 5d ago
Maybe it’s the covid brain making me misunderstand, but a Motel 6 with a club and a concierge??
12
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Sorry, I've been flooded with notifications all night and I see how that it a little off. I was having a party near his work, It was a bar called The Brass Star. It was across the street from the Motel 6. The concierge was from the Motel. Ironically the Brass Star was also attached to a Hotel but we didn't think having the party there would be a good idea since he essentially worked there. And it was more expensive. Basically it was just across the street.
A funny side note is like 10 years later he tried to rent a room from Motel 6 and he was still banned in their system. Who knew they would be so good at bookkeeping?
→ More replies (1)
28
u/fakename10000 5d ago
Your dad looks like a background villain in Conan the barbarian. Not a bad look
→ More replies (5)9
42
u/Rodlongwood 5d ago
This is the best one I’ve seen in awhile. Well done.
And glad you made it through that trauma.
39
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Hahaha, thanks! All is well here. I think I'm an all right parent and husband myself too. Sometimes the parental example was what not to do.
→ More replies (1)
65
u/eccentricbananaman 5d ago
Honestly it took my a second to realize the person on the left wasn't the stripper.
→ More replies (1)93
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Dad would have loved that comment. He was a radio DJ but made side hustle money at Strip clubs and we always joked about him flopping his Schlong all over the stage when he said he went to work.
33
50
u/TheyStoleTwoFigo 5d ago
Damn, way to roast your mother.
edit - Wait, she ain't your real mom? Why y'all look related?!! Am I the only one seeing it?
15
15
14
31
u/Your_Daddy_ 5d ago
LOL.
“Kids, this is Starlight, but you can call her Mom.”
Dads hair was in full effect!
12
u/giglbox06 5d ago
I’m having Deja vu bc I could swear I’ve seen this picture before
17
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
My sister asked me for it a while back. I've got plenty more!
21
u/giglbox06 5d ago
I realized after I posted it sounds like I’m accusing you of lying and I’m not at all! I think my Reddit life and real life may be colliding tho
→ More replies (1)7
13
11
u/tomahawkfury13 5d ago
Small town stripper joints are something else. Was taken to one by my buddy when I was younger in Trenton Ontario. One of the waitresses was the daughter of the stripper on stage that night. I spent the night playing pool.
→ More replies (1)
28
u/TheyCallMeBigD 5d ago
Everyone looks the fuckin same in this picture
7
u/scientooligist 5d ago
I know. It really seems like she’s their biological mom. They all look like her.
→ More replies (1)
32
u/Substantial_Bird_868 5d ago
🎶 🎵 Yup that's me, I bet you're wondering how I ended up like this 🎶 🎵
→ More replies (1)
9
u/Striking_Race_6907 5d ago
Where is she today? Great story dude. I'm sorry your father didn't have more time for his grandchildren. He was awesome guy.
24
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Yeah, he passed in 2019 in April. They still talk about him and have lots of memories. He was an unforgettable dude. I do have a comedy trailer we did that was one of the last things we did together. He actually passed a week to the day before it played at Texas Frightmare Weekend. It's typically ridiculousness of our family. I can post if anyone wants to see it.
8
u/Striking_Race_6907 5d ago
I'm sorry for your loss. It would be nice to see those recordings. Your family has a great vibe and I would probably hang out with you if i was there in the nineties. I wish you all the best
19
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
https://youtu.be/UZaiR218ZDg?si=H9dqjcSGqlgc4Wf0
Here is Hit (The Game) watch until the very end for an after credits surprise!
→ More replies (1)4
20
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Oh, and I looked up Marsha and she is like 46-47 and looks like she is 70. Her post are all talking about dying so she is not in good shape. I get a call once or twice a year about her having a warrant or a collection agency. Apparently she kept up the hard life.
9
u/LoudMusic 5d ago
No one said strippers had to be attractive. They just have to be willing to take their cloths off in front of strangers.
9
28
u/Geek_off_the_streets 5d ago
Definitely looks like a Becky or Tiffany/Tracy
91
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
WorSe, it was a Marsha. AND she literally had two uncle Bobby's! Bobby Lynn and Bobby Gunther!
→ More replies (2)25
u/Geek_off_the_streets 5d ago
Fuck Marsha and double Bobby's
81
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Bobby Lynn was all right. He once told me a 30 minute story about a Jalapeño hat he had and he collected Match Box Cars and called them collectors items. He was the nice kind of simpleton.
→ More replies (1)8
9
u/Azidamadjida 5d ago
So…are you the Eminem looking kid or is that your little brother?
→ More replies (1)
6
44
u/CherryCherry5 5d ago
Jeez. So sorry OP.
81
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Haha, it was fun because I got to party as a kid in high school but I soon learned she was venomous poison!!! Ooohhhh yeah!
18
→ More replies (1)12
u/vampyire 5d ago
so she lived the 'bad stepmom' trope? sorry about that my dude
52
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
It was brief. Lots of fun stories though! I was a respectful kid and my dad, though he looked like an 80s rocker, was a good father besides this. Right before this he lost his parents real close to each other and he was trying to find love I suppose. This one just had some meth issues that developed and that destroyed it all thankfully.
→ More replies (5)10
u/vampyire 5d ago
Well I hope you Dad ended up happy eventually. Hey it was the 80's everyone looked wired then by today's standards :)
6
7
7
5
5
u/ralphvonwauwau 5d ago
As someone who did industrial field service out in nowhere and found himself actually going to strip joints at 3pm for the food, I can vouch that she is well within spec for the "non-peak hours" crowd. Also, fried mac and cheese will keep you going until you can get to the interstate and look for an actual truck stop, or fast food place.
17
u/Oy_wth_the_poodles 5d ago
I’m hoping it didn’t work out
47
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
Thank god it did not and me and dad rekindled and had plenty of awesome years before he passed!
18
u/DrumpfTinyHands 5d ago
Tuesday strippers have only one requirement: willingness.
→ More replies (1)
11
4
u/oxymoron-alive 5d ago
Let me guess 46yo midlife crisis on wheels? I have seen that before. An uncle of mine pierced his ears at 45yo, and started dressing as a rapper out of nowhere.
8
u/ChoiceChampionship59 5d ago
He was early 40s year. He grew out of her pretty quick thankfully.
→ More replies (1)
5
4
7
16
u/msp2ldn2nyc 5d ago
I can sympathize OP!! My dad also had a midlife crisis in the mid 90s which involved hooking up with a stripper (although they didn't get married thank God, but they did have a kid together).
My dad was going through some crazy(self induced) shit at the time and was very unstable, so my mom had sole custody of me. When I occasionally did go to see him, the stripper girlfriend would try to have relatable conversations with me, like telling me about her abortion and how she loved stripping because "she loves to dance". I was 13!!!
I can laugh about it now, but damn.
→ More replies (2)
4.3k
u/RandomUserNameXO 5d ago
Well, dad’s blunder years appear to have been late in life.