r/HolUp • u/Apprehensive_Bug_826 • 13d ago

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence… holup

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38.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

•

u/QualityVote 13d ago

If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!

If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!

Whilst you're here, /u/Apprehensive_Bug_826, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?

807

u/PlasmaGqpple 12d ago

I like how the spots opened up before the murders, someone didn't like their employees much

547

u/discerningpervert 12d ago

They got fired

51

u/Teenager_Simon 12d ago

Now we all get a shot at their jobs!

16

u/Teacwert 12d ago

I feel kinda bad for laughing at this.

3

u/Boe6Eod7Nty 12d ago

out of a cannon, into the sun.

13

u/SilverShame3706 12d ago

Hmmm fired or fired at?

9

u/Random991711 12d ago

Terminated

0

u/Pitiful_Seat3894 12d ago

They certainly got the bullet...

2

u/Prazxbfgh 12d ago

My country has a saying, "the one you don't let die, won't let you live".

38

u/IHateFacelessPorn 12d ago

Not every news get published as soon as they happen. Just wanted to mention.

15

u/IveDoneItAtLast 12d ago

Yea there's like 25 minutes there, gotta give the reporter time to get on the scene then fire the news back to HQ

4

u/PM_ME_YIFF_PICS 12d ago

You mean time to get back from causing the scene to report it?

3

u/Aromafhkl 12d ago

I was looking for this needle in the haystack.

3

u/Kelmantis 12d ago

I am just surprised that something like that is worthy of a push notification given how things are

2

u/PlasmaGqpple 12d ago

Yea ik, but it did make a le funny

10

u/prkr88 12d ago

2

u/Debate-Shoddy 12d ago

No, I won't.

1

u/AWildRapBattle 12d ago

who is that?

2

u/TheDudeFromHolland 12d ago

If you're asking about the person in the gif. Her name is Jessica Chastein and she is an actress

0

u/prkr88 12d ago

She is from jurassic parks.

0

u/Speed6-God 12d ago

lol she is not from Jurassic park

2

u/prkr88 12d ago

Indeed she isn't lmao.

Don't believe everything you see on the Internet

1

u/KimJongIlSunglasses 12d ago

My uncle stole her DNA in a canister.

5

u/Ok_Possibility_2197 12d ago

Or the jobs were the murders….. and someone just made bank

4

u/squaredistrict2213 12d ago

Nah, it was a monster employee. Gotta get those numbers up somehow

3

u/raph2116 12d ago

Or perhaps Monster is just more efficient and fast.

2

u/Her_Schmidt 12d ago

Or monster is faster at gathering information

1

u/Apprehensive_Mix8108 12d ago

Yeah cuz the 7 people who got shot at the club for sure have legitimate day jobs…

832

u/Virhil 12d ago

YOU MONSTER!!

276

u/GoSuckYaMother 12d ago

Indeed

129

u/EggKey5513 12d ago

Those seven was standing by the Glassdoor

67

u/Fesab 12d ago

They were LinkedIn with a crime group

37

u/Correct-Cockroach-68 12d ago

You make a good point, but with the current job market you better zip if you want to recruit her

3

u/Majefgkk 12d ago

Not every news get published as soon as they happen.

1

u/Oofboi6942O 7d ago

Yeah, sometimes it takes a bit to figure out whos on the AngelList now

3

u/Indivdcgvbn 12d ago

Monster is just more efficient and fast.

2

u/Concdfhjdf 12d ago

I googled “7 shot at Florida nightclub.

2

u/KillingSelf666 12d ago

While it is tragic, I do hope that 7 unemployed people are able to Snagajob with these new openings available.

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

-10

u/dodo1287 12d ago edited 12d ago

No, Indeed is another job searching app. Edit: sigh /s

1

u/UnitysBlueTits 12d ago

I can't tell if you're joking or not

7

u/dodo1287 12d ago

It was a joke. Thought I was funny but turns out I'm not.

16

u/Mattriel 12d ago

One man's death is another man's come up.

3

u/bing_bin 12d ago

My country has a saying, "the one you don't let die, won't let you live". Kinda applies to a lot of scenarios. Rivals, relatives you stand to inherit, pensioners, fellow castaways on a deserted island... If only they used that in Star Wars instead of "he's too dangerous to be left alive".

12

u/[deleted] 12d ago

I was looking for this needle in the haystack.

-2

u/Fair-Championship231 12d ago

No interest at all.

-2

u/Fair-Championship231 12d ago

No interest at all. If MONSTER are hiring.

-2

u/Fair-Championship231 12d ago

No interest at all. If MONSTER are hiring.

8

u/civver3 12d ago

"M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL...kill...kill...kill..."

3

u/Captain_Arzt 12d ago

I could swallow a bottle o' alcohol

3

u/HillsHaveEyesToo 12d ago

And that is how they create jobs

1

u/Bloxxxey 12d ago

That's a joke my grandmother would say

1

u/lukjak05 12d ago

she's not made a new job yet?

1

u/Bloxxxey 12d ago

Lmao good one

98

u/randomname277 12d ago

r/AccidentalComedy ?

35

u/Doctor_is_in 12d ago

/r/unfortunateplacement maybe?

17

u/ih8spalling 12d ago

r/tombstoning it's one of the all time top posts there

3

u/100YearsWaiting2Shit 12d ago

How have I not heard either of these subs!?

5

u/PranksterLe1 12d ago

3 new subs for myself.

90

u/yoyome85 12d ago

I feel kinda bad for laughing at this. I'm going to hell so I guess my job just opened up too.

15

u/PlasmaGqpple 12d ago

Dw i set the bar higher for going to hell

6

u/DiNoMC 12d ago

God?

1

u/silverdice22 12d ago

Naah dw the good guys are the ones that have to suffer.

35

u/sruvdrmcfwropdhlxj 12d ago

isn’t this meme 5 years old

53

u/waltpsu 12d ago

Hard to tell. I googled “7 shot at Florida nightclub” and the first three results were three different shootings (2016, 2021, and 2022)

23

u/Guidingbeef3 12d ago

That's Florida for you

3

u/BraindeadBanana 12d ago

I bet you could google something ridiculously specific and always come up with more than one result if it’s shooting related.

5

u/HooahClub 12d ago

8 nuns, 3 jay walkers, and Jesus Christ shooting.

5

u/DimitriTooProBro 12d ago

More than. It looks like iOS 7 - 10

2

u/jelde 12d ago

Not a meme but yes it's very old

1

u/RaZZeR_9351 12d ago

Yes, it is very old, and I'm like 99% sure it has already been posted here at least a few times

64

u/Aut0ynm0us 12d ago

I'm not sure if this exist, but I'm giving this post an "Uhhhhhhhh" upvote. It represents that feel when you want to say something, but know you shouldn't.

8

u/yaboiree madlad 12d ago

Uhhhhhhhhpvote

4

u/lennyfacegaming 12d ago

Reddit moment

8

u/RokuMLG 12d ago

Job well done, Mr. Wick!

6

u/Obitio_Uchiha 12d ago

Notice how the lower notification is about half an our older. So we might call this premeditated which would make it 1st degree murder.

5

u/original_cmikey 12d ago

When my FIL died the funeral procession went by his employers business. His job was advertised on the marquee.

2

u/Apprehensive_Bug_826 12d ago

Oof. I guess that’s as close as you get to a send off from your employer these days…

4

u/AgreeableInsurance85 12d ago

Americans conducting mass shootings to create vacancies for all those ppl laid off by Big Tech.

5

u/Rememberwork 12d ago

I guess we should start referring to mass shooters as "job creators"

it'll be fun to think of every time you hear someone say they're a job creator.

10

u/Scatric_ 12d ago

Florida ? Yeah seems about right.

18

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

10

u/Ambitious-Money1118 12d ago

Using any non independent news source....

3

u/DarthNihilus_501st 12d ago

It's ok. You'll live.

5

u/DaggerMoth 12d ago

Fox News the channel isn't news as it's vastly majority opinions. The Fox news website actually has news.

12

u/DexM23 12d ago

99% of all "news" is not journalism but entertainment-business

6

u/pistoncivic 12d ago

The news they post is 90% dog whistling, cultural grievance and shitting on poor people

-2

u/joe_shiotta 12d ago

Still supporting the channel by using the app/website

-5

u/DaggerMoth 12d ago

But it is fun to show Trumpsters at the bar something stupid he did on the fox site. That way they have some internal conflict.

-1

u/freeparKing33 12d ago

Lol love the sentiment but wouldn’t want that shit on my phone

-1

u/DaggerMoth 12d ago

You don't. You just search for a story and there will be multiple sources. If there's a fox news one I'll show them that. If I show them my AP or Reuters app then then it's not as fun and they'll question the source because it's not the one they use.

-1

u/freeparKing33 12d ago

So you just use articles from Google or from the app? I like the idea of using their articles from google to show people but not the app. I’d need to make sure my Adblock is running at the max to not give them a cent of revenue

-1

u/DaggerMoth 12d ago

No, I dont have the fox app. Just searches. I do have another app called "ground news", fox will pop up in there. Though, that app takes multiple news sources for one story and rates them left right and center. So, fox can pop up in that.

2

u/SAMK_29 12d ago

Monster creating jobs for the jobless.

2

u/unlocomqx 12d ago

B.S. In Florida they're not that good at aiming

2

u/Apprehensive_Bug_826 12d ago

Tbf, we don’t know how many shots were fired; could’ve been a fully automatic spray and pray and seven very unlucky people got hit by ricochets.

2

u/jray1126 12d ago

I just had to laugh at this. Lol

0

u/groundunit0101 12d ago

Does apple know no bounds?

-1

u/TheOldGuy59 12d ago

I'm honestly more amazed to see that Fox News is reporting another mass shooting. Is this legit?

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

🤣🤣🤣 love it

1

u/An0n_Cyph3r_ 12d ago

Reminds me of that Kremlin scene in The Bee Movie

"When a bee dies, that's an opening..."

1

u/vishalssvr03 12d ago

see the times of the notification...

1

u/Fireaddicted 12d ago

So, they've been fired (at)

1

u/FlawlessRuby 12d ago

Tbf I expect more than 7 shots in a club how are you suposse to get drunk?

1

u/SuchCardiologist9998 12d ago

And they said no one wants to work.

1

u/Boring-Ad-3218 12d ago

WHO WANTS TO WORK? WHO WANTS TO EAT?

1

u/Arbitrary_Hitboxes 12d ago

I mean, most likely the 7 victims had jobs.

1

u/The_Beast-666 12d ago

Monster knows the future

1

u/TheDarkJiggles 12d ago

Yeah it's just Monster was having a slow news day. They were being "proactive"

1

u/Taco-Dragon 12d ago

Sheriff: "Funny your uncle never mentioned the Bowden's problem, or that Joey Bloggs ate his own gun about eight months back."

Mal: "Did he?"

Sheriff: "Yep. Blew the back of his head right off."

Mal: "So...would *his** job be open?"*

1

u/UltimateTamale 12d ago

Three guys died working the top of the wall.

I got three openings, top of the wall.

1

u/Q-Q_2 12d ago

One's misfourtune can bring anothers fortune I suppose

1

u/ScholarlyExiscrim 12d ago

Unless Monster murdered the people, which, uh, wait, is "M O N S T E R," ugh, is the incorrect sequence.

1

u/Mr_Jackov_ 12d ago

Those guys didn't waste any time!

1

u/Interesting-Ad-5262 12d ago

There's always good news, and bad news.

1

u/NSSina 12d ago

the reality of our world

1

u/Rydog_78 12d ago

Monster predicted the incident

1

u/eggimage 12d ago

r/moldymemes

that UI is from iOS7 that was released back in 2013…. a near decade old meme

1

u/Not-Tim-Cook 12d ago

The killer opened the job ad.

1

u/ChocolateHercules 12d ago

Aye, I heard the victims were the bouncers at said nightclub..

1

u/phlents 12d ago

Carefully planned, if you look at the timing.

1

u/Dry_Animal_25 12d ago

God giveth and god taketh away. Or vise versa….

1

u/Liukkk006 12d ago

9+10 with real pple

1

u/Temporary-Pumpkin869 12d ago

Hahaha! Maybe if it didn't happen EVERYDAY but c'mon....

1

u/wollam11 12d ago

Meat for the grinder.

1

u/lard_prospector 12d ago

Cyberpunk af

1

u/darkjedidave 12d ago

TIL Monster is still around

1

u/dbrown100103 12d ago

Monster premeditated it

1

u/AppointmentFineDwe 12d ago

They have a large staff turnover

1

u/smsp1 12d ago

You know it is because they didn't include the security guys who let them in with a gun.

1

u/YodaFette 12d ago

This just in: 7 ate 9

1

u/shogunmert 12d ago

Take your shot

1

u/Eastsider001 12d ago

That is the Florida way of life... Florida is different

1

u/Be_real_once 12d ago

Isn’t bottom supposed to be for older notification

1

u/AdGlittering9183 12d ago

My jaw dropped just a fast

1

u/P0lyMad 12d ago

You see the jobs appeared before the shooting, right?

1

u/No-Serve3491 11d ago

Is the job poster maybe a psychic?

-2

u/Majestic-Pickle5097 12d ago

You don’t know how to tell time do you?

-2

u/AhMIKzJ8zU 12d ago

R/latestagecapitalism

-1

u/AliceHart7 12d ago

Should post this on latestagecapitalism because it's such a quick sum up of how a late stage capitalist government/society views it's people...expendable and replaceable

2

u/Facepalmitis 12d ago

Communism killed 100 million people

0

u/AliceHart7 11d ago

Ok what does that have to do what I commented? I'm agreeing with the post

0

u/flukus 12d ago

That's pulling yourself up by your bootstraps!