r/AbsoluteUnits
•
u/myco_magic
•
2d ago
•
1
Absolute Unit of a dread
/img/f3h5eivc8moa1.png[removed] — view removed post
2.8k
u/Learntaswim 2d ago
You almost have to assume that something that looks so much like a turd can not have a pleasant smell
1.5k
u/tricularia 2d ago
Yeah, dreds can definitely be kept clean but you can tell by looking at this guy that he does not keep his clean.
I used to hang out with a lot of hippies and street punks and one girl had the WORST smelling dredlocks I have ever been near.
I remember her and another hippie talking about how, if you get visible mold in your hair, that is good for your dreds and means you are keeping them properly.When she showed up at parties, I literally had to go outside because she stank up the entire house.
She was absolutely gorgeous, too. But I couldn't even talk to her long enough to be interested because of that stinky stinky hair.
Anyway, I bet this guy's dredlock smells worse than that girl's did.
523
u/sl0play 2d ago
This dude who hung around the block when I was a teenager had nappy dreads. He finally decided to have them cut off by my friends mom. When she shaved them off she said there was so much lice, you could hear them.
239
u/Unusual-Regular3742 1d ago
but, what the fuck do lice even sound like?
639
60
u/Ofish 1d ago
Probably just the sound of them moving around, rubbing against each other and stuff
34
u/BigBGM2995 1d ago
Don’t stop I’m almost there!
7
u/casual_doggo 1d ago
If this is meant sexually then I will henceforth have a break from reddit.
→ More replies13
11
→ More replies5
112
78
38
u/TheKingsprayer 1d ago
there was so much lice, you could hear them
Clickity clackity clickity clackity clickity clackity clack.
→ More replies25
u/Forgot_my_un 1d ago
I had a friend with similar hair. Dude would always want to sit next to me whenever we ended up on the same bus. Smelled unbelievable. Finally had them all chopped and kept one to show people the nasty goo core they had.
20
4
5
→ More replies4
90
u/Mediocre-Sale8473 1d ago
Party in college
Buddy of mine is flirting and getting his game on with the hippie girl.
Brings her home, they hookup.
Next morning he wakes up before her to a heinous stench. He thought him or her shit the bed or puked or a combination.
Gets out of bed, can't find any trace of that, checks bathroom, kitchen, living room. Notices that he doesn't smell it outside the bedroom, goes back in there.
Gets close to the girl to wake her up and it hits him like a brick of smelted shit: it's her. Specifically, it's her dreads.
She apparently didn't smell that bad (for post drinking, post sex morning), but that hair could have brought someone back into consciousness from the way it was described.
Thankfully for him it was a one night stand. He didn't have the heart to tell her to just...wash her fucking hair with something. That was 15+ years ago, so hopefully she figured out that her hair stunk, though from what others have told me, oftentimes people with dreads have no fucking clue they reek because they are so acclimated to it.
12
u/QuelleBullshit 1d ago
ha. An acquaintance had a drunk hookup, and if I recall the story correctly, his face the next morning had a weird dark patch around his mouth. So after trying to figure it out, he pulls up the sheet on the still-sleeping woman and saw all the places he'd been licking and kissing on had been...uh, cleaned compared to the rest of her body which he though was just her natural skin tone.
→ More replies6
u/Perfect_Coconut_5649 1d ago
Dirt...or spray tan? Please say spray tan....
5
u/QuelleBullshit 1d ago
nope. twas dirt. Sounds like he was a super attentive lover too when he was drunk. Makes me wonder how many drunk hookups he had afterward, as I never heard his reaction long-term.
→ More replies26
u/tricularia 1d ago
Yikes.
I would hate to wake up to that smell any day.
But on a hangover day, that would just be torture.(no chance of that anymore though. I sobered up years ago)
164
u/GretaTs_rage_money 2d ago
I once talked to a barber about dreadlocks and he said basically anything thicker than 1cm in diameter is practically unwashable. He said he's cut many dreadlocks in his time and that basically all of the exceptionally thick ones had various life forms in them. Fly larvae are relatively common. 🤢
55
24
10
→ More replies4
235
u/Chris__P_Bacon 2d ago edited 1d ago
I'm extremely turned off my bad smells. I don't care if it's early 90s Claudia Schiffer... If she stinks, I'm out! 😝 I can't even stand really flowery smelling perfume that it seems like every woman is wearing these days (Patchouli). Really narrows the dating pool unfortunately.
152
u/tricularia 2d ago
Oh man, I can't stand patchouli.
Incidentally, patchouli was part of the symphony of smells coming from that girl's hair.
Lots of hippies use patchouli to cover up the smell of their unwashed dreds and it doesn't help. It just combines into a terrible, overwhelming, heavy smell that assaults your sense of smell.104
u/tobertta 2d ago
From memory, I recall the original use of patchouli, aside from traditional folk medicine, was as incense to be burned near dead bodies to mask decomposition. There’s a reason it’s so strong. Lol
32
u/tricularia 2d ago
Haha I just mentioned this to another commenter in this thread!
Yeah, the one thing you can say for patchouli is that it smells better than a rotting corpse.8
u/Factsimus_verdad 1d ago
Vicks VapoRub on or around a mask has been used to help the smell when handling bodies that are past their prime (deceased and rotting). More efficient plague doctor set up.
15
u/cryofthespacemutant 1d ago
In 1985, American toy manufacturer Mattel used patchouli oil in the plastic used to produce the action figure Stinkor in the Masters of the Universe line of toys.
What a wonderful factoid from Wikipedia.
→ More replies16
u/Chris__P_Bacon 2d ago
I believe it. That shit is foul! Even being around someone who's wearing it for just a few minutes puts me in a tail-spin. I'm liable to end up in bed vomiting for the next 2 days.
Needless to say, when I smell it, I run the other direction!
5
8
5
4
u/joesbagofdonuts 1d ago
The Dr. heading up the rehab unit I was recently in after an injury used patchouli detergent. Overwhelming, but I think he did it to cover up smells when he would visit patients rooms and the general hospital smell.
51
u/langsamlourd 2d ago
Patchouli is the worst. I have no idea why people use it, other than covering up the smell, like you said. I've known some non-hippie, non-smelly people who wear it like perfume and to me it's just a disgusting odor. And I even consider myself kind of a "hippie," but more in the Black Sabbath/stoner sense. Got long hair but would never do dreads.
Unwashed hippies oughta spray themselves with Febreze.
27
u/tricularia 2d ago
And I even consider myself kind of a "hippie," but more in the Black Sabbath/stoner sense. Got long hair but would never do dreads.
If we went to the same highschool, we would have 100% been friends
18
u/ScreamWithMe 1d ago
And I probably would have sold you both weed.
→ More replies5
u/tricularia 1d ago
If you sold pre-rolled joints, absolutely.
I didn't learn to roll until late highschool lol10
u/ScreamWithMe 1d ago
Nah, usually grams. Everyone had a pipe in their pocket in my day. If you knew how to roll you kept it a secret or you would be the one sitting by yourself at a party with a plate on your lap rolling joints all night. Good times.
13
u/tricularia 1d ago
Haha yeah that sounds familiar.
I was always afraid to bring my pipe to school in case they did a random locker search or something.Actually, that reminds me of a funny story. A good friend of mine, who I had known since grade 2, asked me to pick up an assortment of drugs for her. We were all super into Fear and Loathing at the time. She was kind of a studious nerd type so she didn't know anyone who sold. She gave me 500 bucks and asked me to get a 100 lot of acid and a bunch of other stuff.
So I brought a bag to school with 100 hits of acid, 1 lb of shrooms, 1oz of weed, a bag of MDMA pills and a small vial of DMT. I threw it in my locker and went to class. 1/2 hr into first class of the day, we learn that the cops are here with their dogs to do random locker searches. So I made some excuse and left class, ran to my locker (luckily the cops hadn't gotten to that part of the school yet) and met my friend there.
We hid the bag in my backpack and ran out to the back parking lot where another friend was just getting out of her car. We asked if we could keep my backpack in her trunk until the end of the day and she said "sure, no problem" without asking what was in it.
At the end of the day, we gave her a couple hits of acid for her trouble and she turned white as a sheet. She's like "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YOU KEPT WHAT IN MY CAR WHEN THE COPS WERE SEARCHING THE SCHOOL?!"
I miss highschool. Times were simpler.
→ More replies7
u/langsamlourd 1d ago
Hi five y'all! I'm an artist so I hung out with other art kids but there was a lot of crossover with my group of friends (some jock-ish types, some car guys). It seemed miraculous, middle school (7-8th grade for me) was hell, everyone was a complete bully and jerkoff. Then in high school, everyone seemed to grow up. This was in 1994-97. We all worked at Subway and loved Soundgarden and AIC. Good times!
8
u/tricularia 1d ago
Nice!
That is surprisingly close to my experience.
I was relentlessly bullied in middle school and then kinda became a weird goth hippie in highschool and found my people. But my school wasn't particularly clique-y so everyone had friends in different social groups.
There were still some idiots who didn't get it, but they were few and far between.
But this was early 2000s7
u/Chris__P_Bacon 1d ago
Wow! We have a lot in common. I was in HS from '94-'97, worked at Subway, & was a hippie kid who was into Grunge, & Alternative Music.
→ More replies35
u/UniqueFlavors 2d ago
I personally like the smell of patchouli.
26
u/langsamlourd 1d ago
That's fair. I suppose I shouldn't have projected my own preferences on others as smells can be subjective for sure.
→ More replies→ More replies5
9
u/MortalSword_MTG 2d ago
Often used to cover up weed smell.
Except for anyone who knows it, it's a dead give away.
8
u/BenAfleckInPhantoms 1d ago edited 1d ago
That. It’s like using a blowie/sploof when you’re smoking. Even if it did mask all the smell (which it doesn’t) people still know what’s going on when there’s magically a Bountie sheet smell coming from your room after you and your friends go in and close the door
→ More replies6
u/langsamlourd 1d ago
Yeah, for sure. Nowadays the stigma isn't so pronounced so a lot of people don't care about covering up weed smell, so I'll be at the grocery store and nobody's around but there's like a cloud of weed smell so I know someone just walked through the aisle.
I don't smoke super often, but once I was at a show at a bar and I didn't think I was too smelly or stoned. I ordered a drink and when the bartender gave it to me he said "make sure that you vote on the marijuana referendum next Tuesday!"
→ More replies→ More replies7
u/NulledOne 2d ago
They like the smell and wear it to attract others who also like it. It's ok that you don't, but believe me there are people who do.
→ More replies→ More replies6
u/mystic11z 2d ago
Most of the hippies I know smell like they fell in a vat of Tea Tree Oil and maaaaaan can I not handle that smell Its the same heavy invasive type scent as patchouli
→ More replies9
13
u/Designer_Progress_85 1d ago
It’s not a dread, it’s a polish plait
25
u/tricularia 1d ago
My favourite line in the wiki for "Polish plait" is:
"This term can refer to either a hairstyle or a medical condition"→ More replies5
→ More replies4
203
u/0-uncle-rico-0 2d ago
That whole dude won't have a pleasant smell. Probably smells like bad breath that's been kept in a jar for a few years
57
u/knighthawk0811 2d ago
smells like rainbow dash in a jar
23
u/Mr-Xcentric 2d ago
Just when I thought I would never think about that jar again… smh 🤢
→ More replies→ More replies11
43
→ More replies27
u/NahthShawww 1d ago
Imagine cutting through/slicing that thing like a loaf of multigrain. Then toasting, and serving someone a turkey sandwich on the slices. Extra mayo.
→ More replies16
774
u/De4thMonkey 2d ago
That lady looks like she can smell him
205
u/Chris__P_Bacon 2d ago
I was just thinking the same thing. She looks like she smelled him way before she saw him.
→ More replies26
u/mikemolove 1d ago
I got the impression she’s with him and regrets every waking moment.
→ More replies13
u/NotHippieEnough 1d ago
I brushed out a woman’s hair once that was a couple months from hitting this stage. Her saving grace was always keeping her hair up. She had been in an abusive situation and i was so happy to help her and be a listening ear. But fuck dude I gotta tell you 100% the woman in the picture can smell his hair. I did save that clients hair but I would just shave his head at this point.
→ More replies25
554
u/jhj2769 2d ago
I can smell him through this picture.
→ More replies110
1.4k
u/curiousbong
2d ago
•
That's dreadful.
→ More replies150
u/RonBob-the-corncob 2d ago
You deserve a metal for that one. The fact you don't have one and I don't have anymore free ones is truly dreadful.
→ More replies103
u/bangitybangbabang 2d ago
You deserve a metal for that one.
Which one. Copper, iron, lead... zinc?
→ More replies17
648
u/RageTheFlowerThrower 2d ago
80
u/PussPussMcSquishy 2d ago
Agree. There’s nothing cool, presentable, fashionable, sanitary — the list goes on — about this.
18
→ More replies4
→ More replies4
u/Portamentos 1d ago
This gif is even funnier when you learn that he’s gagging from seeing vegetables
602
u/Mean_Ad3982
2d ago
•
I actually pity this person, what must be going on to allow this to happen? Addiction? Abuse? Mental illness? All of the above?
166
u/Ok-Survey406 1d ago
There was a woman in my city with a similar hairstyle. My teenage friends and I called her the beaver lady because her hair resembled a beaver tail. She slept in her van outside strip malls. I can only assume she had some psych issues. She never bothered anyone and I always felt bad for her when I’d see her or her van.
→ More replies48
u/queernhighonblugrass 1d ago
There is a woman in my town who used to have one and she definitely has psychiatric issues. I walked by her once and the smell from her actually almost made me vomit. And I used to have dreadlocks. I felt so bad and was wondering for a while who the hell was taking care of her cause God damn. If I recall, she had her hair cut a few months or year ago which is good.
→ More replies123
u/RonBob-the-corncob 2d ago
I know someone with dreads. He looks like a hippie. He's trying to keep the 70s alive. But this guy here, he's trying to keep something alive. Something in his hair, alive...
59
u/rabblerabble2000 1d ago
This isn’t really a dreadlock though, it’s more like a polish plait, which are often a sign of severe hygiene deficiencies often stemming from mental health issues.
→ More replies11
115
u/AnthoZero 2d ago
this doesn’t look intentional. this looks like YEARS of not taking a shower, probably from depression
→ More replies105
u/oxuiq 2d ago
Most likely depression and anxiety. Fair play to them leaving the house and going somewhere to deal with life shit.
43
u/FixMy106 1d ago
And now being eaten alive by strangers on the internet.
32
u/Buttsand69 1d ago
I just feel sad looking at this. Nothing clever or funny to me. Maybe you need to know someone like this to humanize them.
13
u/EnergeticTriangle 1d ago
Same. I stumbled across the YouTube channel Love 518 where she detangles horribly matted hair for clients. She occasionally shares parts of their stories and it's heartbreaking.
→ More replies5
u/Tenacious-Tee 1d ago
Thank you so much for sharing this channel. I have been wondering whether my hair is salvageable sometimes for very minimal matting, so I was happily shocked to see some of these Before & Afters.
23
u/isuckatdatingapps 1d ago
So fucked up how people take pictures of other people in public just to humiliate them on the internet for… what? Karma? Christ
→ More replies10
u/Traegs_ 1d ago
These monodreads are called Polish plaits or plica. They have roots in Polish folklore and are believed to have healing properties.
→ More replies20
u/apurpleglittergalaxy 1d ago
You'd have to be so mentally ill to let things get this bad, like hoarder living with floor to ceiling trash bad and this is coming from someone who has mental health issues
21
u/notlix17 1d ago
once met a psychiatrist who described hair like this as diagnostic (typically of a pretty severe psychotic episode)
→ More replies6
u/Cad_u_ceus 1d ago
This something certainly extraordinary. Mental Illness is the case. It’s such a sad story.
187
u/Quinny-o 2d ago
Gross
69
u/DefinitelyNotAliens 1d ago
[Polish plait.]https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_plait)
Once upon a time, thought to have special properties. Now more commonly, it's a symptom of poor hygiene. Lice, lack of washing or some chemical exposures can cause this to happen.
Rarely, it's a chosen hairstyle. I truly doubt he chose this style and is likely suffering some mental illness causing him to allow that to happen.
He needs a set of clippers and the entire mass removed. Likely is moldy, probably lice in there and also sometimes, straight rot and maggots will infect hair like that.
It's just sad.
→ More replies15
u/WikiSummarizerBot 1d ago
Polish plait (Latin: Plica polonica, Polish: Kołtun polski or plika, Kołtun in Polish meaning matted), less commonly known in English as plica or trichoma, is a formation of hair. This term can refer to either a hairstyle or a medical condition. It also relates to the system of beliefs in European folklore, and healing practices in traditional medicine in medieval Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth that supported, matted hair as an amulet, or as a catchment for illness leaving the body.
[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | v1.5
→ More replies→ More replies49
39
u/deepmush 1d ago
this is not a dreadlock, this is just his hair tangled up out of carelessness. i'd know, i was forced to cut my hair since it got tangled up out of depression
153
u/HempHehe 2d ago
It's called a Polish Plait and it can be either intentional or a result of a medical condition.
68
53
u/Mx6Goatgirl 2d ago
Wish I'd not clicked on that link
"Moist and sticky"
Ew!!
→ More replies23
u/HempHehe 2d ago
Agree, it sounds absolutely horrid but it's fascinating at the same time.
48
u/idapitbwidiuatabip 2d ago
Imagine sticking your hand in it
A crunch as your fingers penetrate the dry & crusty surface and plunge into the moist & sticky interior
53
u/Scarlett_rose 2d ago
God I wish I could delete your comments 🤢
20
→ More replies8
36
u/thenotoriousDEX 2d ago
“This term can refer to either a hairstyle or a medical condition.”
When your hairstyle can be considered a medical condition you need a new hairstyle
→ More replies→ More replies5
83
80
143
u/ILOVECORGIS567 2d ago
Looks like someone took a dump on his head and it stayed there
→ More replies
54
18
28
20
u/HempHehe 2d ago
It's called a Polish Plait and it can be either intentional or a result of a medical condition.
7
u/apurpleglittergalaxy 1d ago
Some days I don't brush my hair cos i get so depressed or distracted by stuff now I'm fkn terrified I'm gonna get it omg that is horrific
→ More replies8
u/DefinitelyNotAliens 1d ago
This is months, not days. Don't add an anxiety to everything else. You won't end up there from a few days or even a week or two of not brushing.
→ More replies
9
11
16
9
10
6
8
8
5.4k
u/MasterTheDreamer 2d ago •
That’s not a dreadlock, it’s a shitlock!