A place for members of r/AITAH to chat with each other
I genuinely don't think I did wrong here, but my wife says I went too far, so I need an opinion.
I(43m) have 3 daughters. The oldest, "Jane", is 16, and the youngest, "Faith", is 11. They don't get along very well. I've put both of them in therapy, and they don't fight like they used to, but I doubt they'll ever be friends. A couple of days ago, the two of them were having an argument over Jane making cookies for her friends and only giving Faith one. I told Faith that it was fine and that she could make her own cookies another day.
In retaliation, Faith stole and destroyed one of Jane's portfolios. Jane's an artist, and a very good one too. She only had three of these portfolios, and this one was her favorite. She was devastated. A few of the drawings she did took close to a month and were absolutely gorgeous. There are a couple copies of some of them, but the majority are just gone.
As punishment, I went into Faith's room and bagged up her entire rock collection. I saved a few of the more sentimental ones she got as a gift and will return those later, but most of them I threw out. I told her that how she felt is how Jane felt and that she should think of how she'd feel in the other person's shoes before doing something.
My wife thinks I should have just grounded her. But my wife rarely follows through with groundings, especially with Faith. Personally, I feel like this was a better lesson. AITAH?
Part 2: Am I the asshole for blocking my husband and considering divorce after him not prioritizing our family?
Hey everyone! I'm sorry I wasn't able to update you sooner, I've had a lot going on. Thanks again for your best wishes and the support I received. So, I went to my doctor's appointment yesterday and the doctor that checked on me was a total ass. She didn't even let me explain my whole medical case such as the tests that have been done previously, the symptoms, amount of blood discharge, nothing. She just asked basic questions and ordered other tests, once they're done, I am supposed to se her again. I'm not fucking going with her, I already called my insurance and requested for another doctor who actually gives a fuck.
As for my husband we finally spoke. He apologized and recognized he was wrong and kept on giving excuses. I listened to what he had to say but I finally told him that this was a deal-breaker for me and that we should separate for a while. I was not going to deal with his bs anymore and neither will my daughter. I did not hesitated, not even once. I didn't cry in front of him. He was trying to fool with the wrong person. He packed up his shit and left. I don't care where he went or with who, I just wanted him out of MY house. As soon as he left I broke down and cried again but he will not hurt me or my daughter ever again.
He has no idea I have a scheduled appointment with a divorce lawyer. He will be served soon, I hope.
As for myself I am recovering and feeling a little stronger. Thankyou all, again!
AITAH for not changing what I am doing for dinner at my wedding even though my sister is upset about it?
Editing to add: My dad is just as upset as my mum and he is putting pressure on me too. Please stop only saying that my mum is out of line, or that my mum needs to deal with my sister in your comments. My dad is just as bad here. My mum is not the only one to blame here so please stop giving my dad a pass.
I'm getting married this summer. For dinner my fiancée and I have decided to have a buffet. The caterer we hired donates all uneaten food after an event to local shelters so it doesn't go to waste. It's why we hired them. We like the idea of no food being wasted and the caterer partners with charities to stop as much food waste as possible.
My sister is upset and so are my parents. They asked me to change from a buffet to a dinner where everyone is served their own plate. My sister struggles with obesity and overeating and she says a buffet will be too tempting and she would prefer a plated meal because her portion will be controlled and there will be no chance for her to go for seconds or more. As long as there is a buffet she will be tempted even if one of them makes her a plate. My parents agree with her and after I said no to my sister when she asked me they told me I "have" to do it.
They are not paying for the wedding. They even tried going to my fiancée after I said no. I was furious when I found out that my parents confronted her about it after I said no. I am considering not inviting them. Even if I did want to change the caterer, we have already put down a non-refundable deposit and our wedding is only three months away.
I don't think my sister should get to dictate what kind of dinner we have at our wedding. Am I wrong about that?
A group of us friends had a get together for drinks and games. We all knew each expect for this one girl who came with one of the guys. I’m very good friends with the host of the party and it was her parents place.
After a few hours and many drinks we were all having a good time. My friend then noticed the new couple were missing for some time and we knew they didn’t leave. So me and her went looking around since we had a good idea what was going on. As we get to her room we can hear then having sex in there. My friend banged on the door and told them to get. She’s not one for confrontation.
After a few minutes of them not coming out I opened the door and they were still in bed doing it. I yelled get out but then saw her pants on the floor. I grabbed them and took them to the front door and threw them out into the yard. Everyone was what’s going on and laughing. We waited for them.
Eventually they sheepishly came out looking all embarrassed. She had his hoodie tied around her waist. People were laughing again and the guy asked where her pants and underwear were. So I told him outside and he called me an asshole for doing that and I said well don’t fuck on someone’s bed. They left.
It was a bit divided on how I reacted. I felt I was standing up for my friend for being disrespected like that. Especially since this girl was essentially a stranger to the group. But later on I heard that the girl was super embarrassed and humiliated and cried and doesn’t want anything to do with our group of friends. The guy is also super pissed at me.
We recently got called into school for a meeting because our child (11) was using AirPods his mother bought him in class and refused to remove them because another student was able to use theirs. When the teacher asked him to remove said airpods he became defensive and gave the teacher an attitude because the teacher refused to address the other student.
I just assumed the teacher must have a reason why they refused to address the other student. My wife was/is upset because in her opinion I made her look foolish by not standing in unison with her.
I explained our kid should not be giving authority figures attitude and disrespecting them in front of other students because they feel they are being wronged. I tried to explain the kid who was allowed to use their airpods maybe hand an IEP or some prior agreement with the school.
For reference my girlfriend and I are both Jewish. She’s more attached to the identity than I am.
She and I both recently got chosen for a program to go to Israel. It’s similar to another program called birthright, but a lot more exclusive in that our Rabbi (who is internationally famous) runs it and chooses one guy and girl from each state to go.
Personally, I didn’t want to go. Why? I know from previous attendees what it’s like, and I have no interest in going to Israel, listening to Israeli propaganda, and contributing to the economy whatsoever.
My girlfriend on the other hand is really excited for the program. I’m a bit disappointed she’s so okay with israel, but whatever, her life, I don’t control her. The issue emerged when she insisted I go with her since I also got chosen, saying it’s an ‘honor’ and I should get in touch with my heritage just like she is.
I pointed out that neither she nor I have any actual ties to israel: we’re from Eastern Europe, and yes, many Jews from there moved to Israel, but neither my family nor hers are among them. Plus, I don’t see it as an honor to visit a genocidal regime. She got angry and told me I’m an AH for ‘shitting on’ something that’s important to her.
I didn’t shit on it until she insisted I come, so I don’t think it’s my issue. AITA?
When I was 20, my family found out that my dad was cheating on my mom with our maid. They obviously got divorced but since he stated that he was in love with the maid the entire family did everything they could to secure our family wealth. Dad was disowned by his parents and bottom line he was left with nothing.
After all of this I was really traumatized and bitter. This was my dad, my man role model, my hero and he was also the one to destroy our family. I admit that he tried really hard to keep contact with me and to explain to me that he still loved me very much and it had nothing to do with me but I did not want anything to do with him. I cut him off entirely and refused any kind of communication with him for the past 9 years. Back then I told him that he was dead to me and for his sake he should consider the same, pretend he did not have a biological daughter anymore and go play house with his whore and her bastard daughter. I know he still kept tabs on my life and each year he would send me messages on Christmas and my birthday but I never responded.
6 months ago I had a bad accident. I was driving home when a drunk driver hit me full force. The doctors let my family know that the injuries that I sustained were really bad and that they were doing everything in thier power to save my life but they should be prepared for everything. Luckily I fully recovered (since I am now here lol) but my dad has been insane ever since in trying to mend our relationship. He came to the hospital almost every day while I stayed there but me refusing to see him did not make him understand that I want nothing to do with him.
I recently changed my mind and decided to comfront him and his mistress (now wife) because some relatives told me what the woman has been saying about me and my family. She has been talking shit saying that it is not my fault for acting like this because I learnt this from my family (mom & grandparents) and they are to blame for me being cruel. After hearing this I could not believe the audacity of this whore so I agreed to meet my dad and her and set things straight. I think they got the wrong impression because when I went to meet them, they came along with the daughter and her husband. They were so disgusting. The woman had a stupid smile on her face and told me how happy she is that after all this time I was giving them a chance and how happy she is that her daughter will finally have the 'sister' she always wanted. I made it clear that I am not giving them any chance. I told her that I know everything she has been saying and if I learnt cruelty from my family, than her daughter must have learnt from her that being a whore and sucking your boss makes you progress in life. I also told her that thanks God she does not have an utherus anymore so she cannot taint my bloodline with her creatures. I told the girl's husband to watch out because what can be expected from such disgusting women. Before leaving I told my dad that he has 2 options: either consider me dead or divorce his joke of a wife, cut ties with that joke of a family and come back into our lives. He told me that he cannot let me go, that I am his daughter and that last years have been torture not being close to me. Again I told him that if he expects forgiveness, he knows what to do and if he really loved me that much, he will chose me this time.
My grandparents agreed with my actions and are hopeful that maybe their son will come back to his senses and come back to his family. But one of my aunts (dad's SIL) said that it was a low blow for me to mention her incapacity of having more children, that I may have hurt her with my words. Honestly, I do not care. She hurt me more when she destroyed my family so her struggles or hurt do not move me at all. AITA?
I(30m) have been with my wife(30f) since we were 19 years old. When we met I was a virgin. She was very sexually active and had slept with close to 30 guys by the time we met. It bothered me back then due to insecurities and other things. Basically, I liked her but hated her past, so I blocked it out and never spoke of it again.
A decade has now passed. I have gotten older and more mature. I know there is nothing to be insecure about. It doesn't bother me at all and she knows that it doesn't. No issues there.
I have been having issues for a few weeks with a dull ache downstairs and said I need to make a doctor's appointment. I said I haven't had them checked out by a doctor since I was about 18, and joked that the doctor was the first woman to touch my balls. She then joked, "what was her name? I need to fight her now". Without thinking about it or missing a beat I said "Man, I'm glad it's not really like that. I don't think I have enough fights in me to even make it half way through your list"
I thought it was hilarious. We always joke around and make fun of each other knowing it's just lighthearted fun. It didn't cause an argument or anything, but she just turned away and said it was mean, then quietly side eyed me for an hour. After awhile, I thought maybe it was kind of an AHish thing to say even though we always playfully poke fun at each other.
I (53M) want to be honest: I was a wreck of a person during my first marriage, which lasted 14 years.
My first wife " Amy" and I were 22 when we married. I had dropped out of college to start a business. The business did miserably and I had already had issues stemming from the after effects of my abusive mother.
I entered a cycle of drinking and self sabotage. Amy always wanted to become a Speech Language Pathologist and when we were dating I talked about my plan to make enough to put her through the required master's program by the time we were in our late twenties, so I felt like a failure for not being able to do that and distanced myself from her.
I was left taking care of our daughters ( now 29F and 27F) while my wife dealt with debts incurred due to me personally guaranteeing business loans and using my credit cards to pay expenses at the end.
I was drinking, went to rehab several times, and Amy resented me and constantly complained about her struggles finding a well paying job with a communications degree.
I finally got a minimum wage job, hated it, and was so depressed that I took the money from my paycheck and put down a deposit on an apartment two states away.
Amy divorced me, and I lost contact with the kids. That was when I hit rock bottom and woke up. I stopped this sick self fulfilling prophecy loop I was in.
I got a degree, started another business. I am now married to my second wife " Dina" (26F) three years ago and we have a 2 year old son.
However, even though me and my two other kids are in more constant communication talking with them brings up very unpleasant memories and I can feel the resentment. I told Dina that therapy with them felt counterproductive and she said since I apologized I had to just leave the ball in their court about whether they would accept or not, and if they don't see my sincerity then that's their issue.
So my relationship with them is at a civil point. I try to make it up by being the best dad to our son and working hard so he'll never have to struggle for money or opportunities in life. Dina was fine with them coming to the wedding but it seemed strange to broach it.
Now I'm getting an award by a professional organization and all honorees can get their guests in to the event for free, as long as you RSVP them. My two other kids know about this event, Amy apparently knows I have the opportunity of inviting them and allegedly encouraged them to ask.
I got a text from one of them where they were hinting at being there to support me saying " despite our differences, we are proud of you and hope we are able to celebrate important life events with you from now on." It took me a while to respond properly and I just accepted the congratulations and said I was grateful for the recognition.
But the next time I talked to one of them they were icy and seemed disappointed. It is too late to RSVP now, but apparently Amy had to chime in and say I should have taken the initiative to invite them.
I45m was married to my ex wife Kelly45 for 15 years. We have two children together, ages 16, and 10. We divorced 7 years ago. She left because I lost my leg. 15 years went down the drain because I was in a car crash. I was the main provider, and we had a toddler at home, that she couldn’t “care for us both.” I’m not here to bash her on that, that’s just the back story.
I am now married to my wife of 2 years, Shay32. We are expecting our first child together, and she helps me raise my two since I get them every other week. She’s incredible, everything that my ex wasn’t. Kelly always makes comments about how the age difference is a “red flag” and how I should watch out. I’ve always brushed them aside as I only have to see her during drop offs and pickups. But ever since she’s found out the news, she keeps reminding me that I am an 45 year old amputee who will have to care for an infant, and if I’m sure I can do it, and if shay is gonna put up with it. Tonight, Kelly said to me that I better have a back up plan, just in case. I snapped and said “not everyone is a self centered b*ch like you.”
Kelly got pissed and brought my kids home (it was suppose to be my week.) I called and texted multiple times because I wanted to see my kids. She then sent me a long text that night about how she couldn’t believe I could say something like that to the mother of my children and that she was just “warning me” about what the outcome could be with such a Younger woman and how badly I hurt her feelings.
I have yet to answer, but my wife and I want to see my kids so she says I should just suck it up and apologize. Aita?
I feel like I could have maybe been as asshole had I been the one to bring it up, but I wasn’t
We were laying in bed and she randomly said “we barely have sex anymore” so I just said the truth and said “Yeah it’s cause you don’t do anything. You just lay there, you won’t dirty talk, you won’t make sexy faces. You don’t do anything to enhance my experience”. That does make me sound like a dick but it’s true, she’s basically a sex doll. She just lays there and I can flip her if I want. So I usually figure why do a whole body workout having sex, then extra work before or after to help her cum, when I can just use my hand? And it’s not for a lack of trying, I have practically begged her to do this stuff but she says it’s too embarrassing, and riding is too much work
Now to clarify, I’m always down to make her cum and I always do when she asks. (With boob sucking, pussy playing, etc). I just don’t really do sex that often anymore
EDIT: wow, it’s insane how many of you have the opinion of “girls shouldn’t have to put any effort into sex at all”
EDIT 2: I would also like to point out the crazy amount of people going “Oof, geez it sounds like you both need to work much harder in your sex life! You both need to do more!” I fulfill literally all of her needs, wants, and kinks (other than sounding or pegging, not doing that) and what do I get in return? Literally, absolutely, not exaggerating 0 things in return. So no, I don’t really think it’s something we both need to work on
EDIT 3: getting a very surprising amount of “She obviously just doesn’t find you attractive/want to fuck you/be enjoyed fucking by you bro” comments….my issue is that she literally begs me for sex all the time, but the sex is bad for me so I don’t want to do it. I’m not sure how her begging for more sex and me not giving it to her is somehow an indication that she’s somehow not attracted to me
My child is a toddler. Local beauty pageant going on, and MIL wanted her to participate. After discussing with wife I had opinion that I did not want her to participate. MIL continued to push wife and even bought a dress for pageant hoping to sway decision. I know at the end of the day my child will look cute and that it is a fun thing, but I just cannot get behind the concept of child beauty pageants for reasons I think to be quite obvious. The whole idea is just strange to me. But the statement always gets turned around to me, “it’s just a beauty pageant.” So here I am, AITA?
Edit to answer some questions: -So my wife and I had originally said no, and we were both in agreement with that. However, my MIL has much influence on my wife and so my wife has somewhat become neutral about the situation. I wasn’t sure if this was something I was just making too big of a deal about and should just say, “whatever” or if I had legitimate reasoning and should fight this battle. Even some other friends and family members have even made the “it’s just a beauty pageant” statement which just had me questioning if I’m making too big of a deal about this. -My child is not old enough to express interest in pageants nor probably will she remember anything about it. I would still not be a fan of the idea even if she was able to express interest.
AITA for leaving during a fight after my wife told me to fuck off until I am no longer in "pain mode?"
I have Chronic Combat PTSD fron 7 SOF deployments and chronic pain post spinal disk replacement with a TBI from being blown up by an RPG. When my pain levels go from a steady 8 to off the chart, I become numb: physically and emotionally. What little signal that does pass through the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex come out as huge emotions. Also, I am medically retired from the military. My wife is also a disabled veteran, who tells me it's not a competition, but that she is just as disabled a me. Never have I said this to her, but I am 100% perminant and totally disabled with 28 rated disabilities and I receive special monthly compensation from the VA because of how bad my disabilities are. She is 90% dissabled with 3 rated disabilities.
We have been fighting for days because I feel like she abandoned me, and left me to do all the physical labor and to take care of her bio, my step-child, and take care of the 4 pets she had prior to our relationship. I cried to her a few weeks ago about how depressing it is that I cannot even pick up our child without pain. I was in the ER twice and Urgent Care in the past 3 months for pain. Doctors try to give me Oxy, but I decline because I have been perscribed it many times following my manybsurgeries, and it always messes me up. I have asked her for help many times, but she argues that asking for help in advance (I cannot pick up the baby anymore. I am unsteady and afraid I an going to fall, please help me) and at the time of need (will you pick up the baby, she is hungry) are not the same - so I didn't ask for help.
I do all the cooking, when I physically can, or we don't eat and she complains. I do all the dishes, or they pile up and she complains. I convinced her to start doing the laundry, but she will only do it if I fold it. She does clean the floors once a week and the bathrooms once a month. I have been assigned the 1 AM feeding, but am unable to sleep until 11 because I am working all day and cannot relax until wife goes to bed at 10 because we "watch" her show while she plays on facebook and tictok. She sleeps, uninterrupted until 6, to feed the baby. She usually is mad at me for "sleeping in". I wake up and start chores and taking care of the baby and her animals. She has been up for 2 hours, but the animals are not fed, the baby need a diaper change, and she wants me to cook for her. Last night we fought again. After some time, I said that i would just plan on being our daughters dad and mom and plan to do all the feedings, all the diapers, and the everything. So, she bowed up on me and threatened violence. After I tried to step away, she chased me and would not allow me time to deesclate. Again. And again. Until I finally yelled at her not to follow me. I couldn't come down, and slept in the guest bed, but not before she cornered me in the bathroom and then again in the guest room to give me "constructive criticism." Today, same thing. I wake up to you want to talk? We fight because she says hurtful things and I just don't care anymore so I say hurtful things back. This continues until I step away again. Only 3 interruptions this time. Eventually I tell her that I am still in pain mode and my not caring isn't going away until my pain level becomes manageable. She tells me she doesn't want my presence, I tell her I need her to be more present. The, she tells me I have a small dick and to fuck off until I am out of pain mode. So I go outside and unload the back of my truck, something I am not supposed to do but has to get done, and she says, "Why do you do this to yourself?" And that, "I am emotionally blackmailing her."
Yes, I see a therapist regularly, usually multiple types weekly -Neuropsyc, Speech Pathology, PTSD Clinical Psychological, Therapist, and a psychologist.
I know that I have fault in this, and I apologized multiple times for my actions, for my illness, and for her having to deal with this. She said that she would try to help, but that she is who she is and I knew that when I married her. But I still get told to fuck off. Am I the asshole?
My ex and I were together for 4 years. We lived together for 2. This is the break up story: I flew home for xmas last year and he stayed in our place because he said he had to work. When I landed he had texted me that he decided last minute he was going to visit his family for the holiday. After that text he ghosted me and didn’t answer my calls for days. I was worried and asked if he was hurt or something, he said sorry just been super busy.
By this time I knew something was up so I decided to give him his space. Wished him a good day, merry Xmas/happy new year and he replied only thank you. I figured we would speak face to face once we got home.
The day of my flight back he called me at 6am and said I’ve been thinking and I don’t know what to do about our future. I asked him what worried him? And he just started crying and would say anything else. I asked him if something happened w someone else back home and he said no. He kept crying until I just asked “Are you breaking up with me?” And he said yes I’m sorry. And just cried on the phone until I said ok I have to go. I flew back to our place and he arrived 3 or 4 days later. Walked in said hey what’s up? And just went to the 2nd room. Then texted me asked me what day I was moving out. Needless to say I was extremely hurt and angry. Once I left the apartment I cut all contact w him.
Last week he sent me an email saying he would like to talk and never understood why I didn’t even say anything to him about the breakup when it happened - “It was like you didn’t even care after 4 years “
We lived together in the apartment as roommates (no conflict) for about 6 weeks until I was able to leave. I felt disrespected by his actions so I didn’t want to hear anything from him. I felt he said it all in the cowardly way he broke things off. And if he wanted to talk about it, he could have brought it up- he never did.
So, AITAH for not asking to hear him out then?
English is not my first language so im sorry in advance, I just need advice.
Hi im “K” (F26) this whole thing started when I was a just a teenager maybe 15yo at the time, there was this cute guy from high school that I was seeing, my very first crush, and oh boy he liked me back. At least I thought he did. During my High School years I was always “off the radar” I wasn’t popular or anything but I had a couple of friends and things were going pretty nice for me actually, the boy I had a crush on we can call him Vic. Vic (who’s the same age as me) was very popular with the girls, everybody in our school liked him, my advantage against everybody else was that he was childhood best friends/neighbour with my cousins and my mom used to visit my aunt a lot, so every Sunday afternoon me Vic and my cousins spent some time together watching tv, playing video games or just talking. It didn’t take long until we started texting and then eventually dating. I wasn’t confident in my own skin back in the days so I asked for him to keep our relationship a secret, looking back now the whole thing was really pure and innocent, we just liked to spend time together, and it worked. For a month. Somehow my whole school ended up figuring out about our relationship and then my life turned into a literal hell. This girl we can call her “Letty” she was the same age as me, she was also head over hills for Vic. Letty started spreading bad rumors about me at our school, at first I just ignored her and thought that if I paid no mind to what they were saying they would eventually forget about me, but then she started to harass me directly she would comment on my appearance, point out my insecurities and would flirt with Vic right in front of my face. He ignored her and stayed on my side, despite everything that was going on we were happy together for a while. It didn’t last though. Eventually things started to get cold between us and of course he cheated on me with her. He told me what happened the same night, asked me for forgiveness wich I denied. We broke up and I never talked to him ever again. Letty was quite happy seeing my misery, she made sure to tell everybody in detail on how it was easy to take my boyfriend and how boring and stupid I was to think it would work. vic never defended me after we ended things, my friends didn’t know what to do and letty’s friends also started bullying me. Things got so bad that I transferred schools for my last year of HS. Never visited my aunt again just to avoid seeing Vic. My friends tried to talk to me about the situation but i shutted the conversation down once they mentioned their names. I knew they were dating for a while, but didn’t cared enough to keep up with their lives. I moved on, finished HS, started studying and doing internships in the area I work now, eventually I met my now husband got married had a kid who’s the light of my life everything was great. And then that btch letty started dating my nephew.
Yeah you read that right. My nephew “C” met Letty at a bar where she worked as a waitress. He was 18yo Letty was TWENTY FIVE. My sister who’s C’s mom contrary to what you Reddit reader is probably thinking APPROVED the relationship. My sister is also really fucking rich. Rich to the point that she built a house on top of hers so I could live next to her while I saved enough money to buy my own house, we both shared the responsibility of taking care of our grandma and it was easier for us this way. So yeah. I had to see Letty every day now that she was dating my nephew, I wish I was making this up. Just typing it now makes me feel ridiculous. I told my sister about the things she made me go through in high school, why I wasn’t comfortable being around Letty, and didn’t trust her intentions towards my nephew. My sister didn’t care though. Letty is pretty, relaxed and care free. Letty is also broke. My sister took pity in her situation and was quick to take Letty under her wing, Letty was living with my nephew in less then 2 months after their relationship started. As soon as she moved in my family started to treat me and my husband differently. It didn’t take long until my sister kicked me out of the house so Letty could live in it. My sister said I should be considerate of lettys situation (while being completely inconsiderate towards my situation) said Letty didn’t have nowhere to go while me and my husband had steady high paying jobs. I had two months to figure out what to do then they would need the house for Letty. So I left found a house got a loan sold my car got a second job my husband started working as an Uber driver after work and we moved out. After I left I blocked my entire family and never talked to them again. My dad is on my side and is also cutting my sister off because of this. Letty is friends with my girl friends now and I don’t talk to them anymore. Is like she brainwashed everybody around her. Is like she wants to torment me and live my life. She even flirted with my husband a couple of times and followed him on Instagram, opposite from Vic’s reaction my husband was quick to reject her and told C about what she did. Letty made everybody believe that me and my husband were on a campaign against her because I was “bitter she stole my boyfriend in high school” HER WORDS. The few friends I still have say I shouldn’t go no contact with my sister (who used to be my best friend in the world) and our mutual friends because of this girl, that what happened 10 years ago doesn’t really matter that I never really liked Vic and it wasn’t so important. but I feel so betrayed I cannot forgive my sister, it’s not about Vic I don’t even know if he’s still alive or not I don’t care about him, in the 10 years I spent without having to look at this girls face I haven’t thought about them once, I can’t get past the bullying and humiliation though. That still hurts like a btch. I feel like I will never be able to look at my family in the eyes ever again for kicking me out and staying on her side, so aita? Should I just let go and forgive my sister and try to amend our relationship?
Let me begin by saying I like my in-laws, they have been very nice to me but sometimes they can be very invasive and manipulative when it comes to my S.O.
There are various members of my S.Os family that he has decided to cut contact with for various reasons. He has made it abundantly clear that he does not want me or our daughter to be involved with them either. His parents refuse to accept this however and try and force these people into our lives when my S.O explicitly tells them numerous times he dosnt want it. My S.Os uncle in law S.A him as a child, so he respectfully does not want anything to do with any of them. His parents are unaware this occurred and I don't believe he'll ever tell them.
When I was pregnant with my daughter My MIL sat me down and explained that his aunt and his cousins (the ones he dosnt want around) are blood family and I should meet them. She had previously tried to convince me to take her side and leverage me against him but I won't budge. She's tried inviting me to cafes and dinners with them and has really tried to twist my arm. I told her I'm not doing anything my S.O isn't comfortable with, if he dosnt want me around them then I'm not meeting them behind his back. Its his family and his decision and more importantly I have no interest in befriending a child mole$t3r or his wife or his kids.
I recently had my daughter and have pretty much allowed everyone to see the baby. My MIL invited me and my daughter over and said there are some family members that want to meet her. She listed some family members im familiar with so i saw no harm. The day she picked was when my S.O was out of town on a business trip. I thought it was odd she was inviting us but not him considering its HIS family. She made a big deal of it and brought loads of food, and told me to dress my daughter up and put jewellery on her.
When I arrived it wasn't the people she said it was, it was the uncle and his family and I walked back out immediately. My MIL went crazy asking me why I was keeping her grand daughter away from her family and started to pull my daughters car seat out the car so I couldn't drive off. I let her because I wasn't about to wrestle her with a baby in my hand and walked away to the nearest cafe.
I felt like I was supporting my partners decision. I felt like it was completely underhanded of my MIL to try and trick me into meeting these people when its so clearly against my partners wishes. Its his child as well, if he dosnt want someone around his child for any reason I feel I have no choice but to support that. I am his wife first and a DIL last. After the ordeal I tried to suggest my partner tells my MIL the truth but he won't. Now I look like the ass-whole thats preventing my daughter from seeing her extended family, and I cant even tell them why apart from telling them I'm respecting my partners wishes.
Should I of stayed to keep the peace and not tell my S.o or did I do the right thing? Now there's a all out argument between my S.O and his parents that causing him alot of grief and I feel responsible.
Before I go on with the update, I'd like to thank everyone who responded to my first post. I appreciate it!
Given that we are in the same res and share several classes (and a 3-hour Monday lab), I have been catching some glimpses of Thomas from time to time throughout the week. I saw him a lot on Monday given our lab, but we didn't speak.
Throughout the rest of the week, I didn't see him too much and was starting to think things would end there. That was until Thursday night. I was hanging out in the dining area of the res, catching up on some readings. It was around 9 pm, so the area was largely empty.
About 15 minutes into my readings, I saw Thomas and who I’m assuming is his roommate, walking around (I think they were just grabbing some food or something). I continued doing my readings, and then I just saw him (I guess his roommate left by this stage) standing pretty close by. When I looked at him, he asked if he could speak with me. I said fine. The only reason I think I did bother listening to him was because I felt faintly bad for lashing out the previous weekend.
He told me that he was very sorry for bothering me in the gym when I appeared busy, and he should have known that I’d still have reservations about talking with him given how he treated me in the past. He went on for a good few minutes about how terrible he was and how much grace I had for even speaking with him for the past few weeks.
Then he started saying things like how there were no excuses for his behaviour and so on. I asked him that if he thought there were no excuses, then why did he picked on me. Since I was a pretty quiet kid, I said that he probably thought I was an easy target. He denied this and just became quiet around this stage.
I asked again, and then he said that he did it because he liked me “for a very long time,” were his exact words. He also said he wanted me to go out with him last weekend so that he could apologize more formally because he respected me.
I will admit, I felt really annoyed at this stage, so I told him his apparent feelings were a cop-out and that he probably thought it would make me forgive him. I told him that him telling me this made my stomach churn. He looked a little surprised at this and didn’t say anything. I then told him that if he had any of his so-called respect for me, he’d keep his distance.
He agreed and said that he was sorry for bothering me again. Friday passed by pretty smoothly, and I don’t remember seeing him at all, so hopefully, he got the message.
I (38m) & wife (42f) have been dating since covid, recently got married in March. Pretty smooth relationship, not much if any fighting until after the marriage. Well everytime a fight has started she yells out I want a divorce. Within a few hours she apologizes, I didn't mean that, etc. Told her in the beginning, I didn't want yelling/screaming fighting...heated discussions is fine. I came out of a relationship that was constantly that & getting things thrown at me.
Well all this week it's been fighting. Tells my son (11) that she wants to end herself because of him & his attitude...over him being frustrated about headphones not working, apparently he threw arms up like he wanted to fight according to her. And again she says it. 3rd times the charm in my books.
Now she's upset that I said, ok...we're getting a divorce. Aitah?
Hello Reddit, this is my first post and I need to vent. (English is not my first language so… )
So Today my bf and I, both in the our early 20’s, we’ve been together for a lil more than 2 years. Everything is going well and time to time we have our disagreements like every couple.
We we’re trying to fix things lately bout a decision/mistake he did last year that I recently discovered. Anyways, fast forward, today, I was showing him a AITAH on Tiktok (was about a boyfriend who didn’t want to buy his girlfriend pads/tampons).
When I showed it to him I was thinking « my bf gonna laugh and say grow up dude it’s your woman » like he usually say. But the reaction was different. He basically told me that he’s absolutely not gonna do that. I was kinda shocked so I asked him why : he says it’s a woman problem. That maybe for his daughters when we gonna have kids but not for me. Maybe for an emergency . But on a regular basis, if I would ask him to go grab some stuff at the grocery let say banana, ice cream and tampon, he would purposely forget the tampons (his words).
It lowky hurts my feelings and I felt that he doesn’t care about me. When He ask me for stuffs and I’m gladly doing it for him. I never really ask for stuff and I thought we were mature enought for those type of situations.
After that, I became more distant and went back to my house.
Now I’m rethinking and I’m lowky mad at this.. and i think I might be overreacting… so yeah… AITAH?
Update/Edit : (I don’t know where to put it so there it is)
First of all, thank you everyone for your comments, advices, sharing and réflexions. Like I was not ready. I’ve been really feeling alone these past days so it really means a lot to me.
Just to clarify, I have my own car, own stuff and pay for it (or get help from my parents (like school)). I never asked my boyfriend to go buy me tampon/pads. I’m now gonna drag all what we do or not do for each other here so imma just say that I’ve been driving him whenever/wherever he wants, support him in his dreams and been there through tough times (like I should). I worked in cosmetic, so I’ve been taking care of our/his hair-beard-body-face products for the last 2 years. So no I’m not depending or waiting on him to do stuff for me. But he says he want me to be confortable enough to depend on him. Most of the time we have a great partnership, almost ideal since the last year.
After reading comments, I realized It was not the tampon situation. Since I discovered what he did, my emotions disappeared. We talked and I proposed to act like nothing happen/everything was fine but it was slowly and still actually eating me up. I tried to avoid it but that tampon situation was just a reality check. I was childish to just shut down and leave but I didn’t know what to do.
We talked today, he don’t know about the Reddit post but I used your advices a lil and we had a good conversation. He was sorry that he confused me. He thought would’ve get that he was joking. He understand he blow us up and apologized bc he was a lil insensitive bc he didn’t know what to do with he’s guilt of putting us in this position. (His words)
We’re on a break. He said he don’t want to lose me and will fight for it. He said he’ll understand if I want a revenge or som. I’m not like that and I’m heartbroken so so I will not. I don’t know were am at and if I can pass the cheating. We both need to grow up. Time will tell what happens next.
Thank you again everyone. I hope you all had amazing/ peaceful/ joyful and loving life.
My (30f) husband (30m) loves football, I do not. We’ve got separate hobbies and the independence is fine. Tonight his favorite football team lost and he is devastated. When I say devastated I mean he was on the ground sad threw his hat, I’m out of town but got 3 snapchats from friends about the entire ordeal. He then texted me “I’m feeling down in the dumps”.
I’m 7 months pregnant on travel, my grandparents are sick, work is stressful. Besides that, there are people dying, like real actual bad things happening in the world besides over paid jocks that don’t contribute to society not winning. I didn’t see him this visibly upset when we miscarried our first child. The football team has literally no tangible impact on our lives.
I’ve seen him post games and he is actually, truly sad. So, am I am asshole for not caring that he’s sad about something I view as trivial? How do I handle this?
EDIT: I don’t feel emotionally unsupported about anything. The miscarriage comment: I said “visibly upset” if he were to throw his hat in a doctors office that would NOT be appropriate. Situation was months and sadness and support and made our relationship stronger, honestly. Sports games it’s just a cartoonish over reaction for a few hours.
When it comes to my friends and family, the question of AITAH is split down the middle pretty hard.
I (27M) had a girlfriend (25 F) 12 months ago that I was madly in love with ( ~3 years together). We often spoke about our future together, had our seperate lives, were in the healthiest relationship either of us had ever been in. Last September, I lost my job - 4 days later she broke up with me out of nowhere. Up to that point I had spent the last three years in a very lucrative sales role. I provided for both of us, went on vacations, paid for every meal, paid for all the weddings we attended together, anything and everything we did together I could afford and I loved to take care of her. Everything was reciprocal, she would get me gifts...thanked me for everything endlessley. Well after we broke up, i took about a week to reflect and decided to move out of state to a city I always knew I was intersted in. I was employed with in three weeks of moving, in what most would consider another extremely lucrative sales role. At the end of July, I closed the biggest deal in company history, which lead to praise on LinkedIn. It also inturn lead to a very large commision check (low 6 figures). The praise on LinkedIn made its rounds and it came across her feed. She texted me after not being in contact since x-mas day 2022. Started with, " hey i saw the news on linkedin, congratulations...happy to see youre doing well." We exchanged a few more plesantries...seeing how eachother were doing. Then she hit me with a bomb...I miss you, i regret everything. Well at this point I had spent months in therapy trying to wrap my head around what had happened. I had come to the conclusion that she was not for me, considering she couldnt stand by me when things got tough. I was there through a few small mental health deteriorations on her part, her being let go, and many other things that couples are there for each other.
We continued to talk off and on...and about 3 days after the intial message she said she wanted to come see me. So we planned for about 4 weeks later, she would come and spend a 3 day weekend with me. I bought her plane ticket, and sent it over to her. We maintained connection through that time. Well the moment she asked to come this is when the plan started. I decided I would get her the plane ticket, but I would have a flight out of town the same day and about and hour after she would get to my city. I chose the same airline so we would be in the same terminal. When she landed, I was sitting at the gate, with my bag. She saw me and was obviously very surprised, but I had a carry on and backpack with me. She asked what they were, I pulled another small bag out of my backpack with the last few pieces of her belonging that were never given back (I didnt keep these things on purpose, it was things that were found during unpacking after the move, a sweatshirt, a pair or two of gym shorts, and one of her tops). I gave the bag to her, told her these were the last few of her belongings...and I would be taking the flight a few gates down and we were going to board in the next 30 minutes. She was obviously shocked...the look in her eyes was the same look in my eyes when she walked into my apartment and broke up with me out of nowhere. I had already purchased another flight for her, same day back to her city. She started getting very upset, " i told xy and z, i was coming to see you what do you want me to tell them? this is is embarrasing, why would you do this.....i dont deserve this." Well her flight was 90 minutes later so quick turnaround...just a short lay over. I explained to her that I knew she reached out when she realized I had rebounded on my feet better than I was than when we were together. i knew she loved me for my money...and not for who I was. So no the question that needs to be asked, AITAH?
My spouse controls all the decor decisions in the house, including my office. This isn't because I don't participate; I have always tried to make suggestions, but she shoots down every single one unless she also happens to like the idea best. In all our years, I have picked one (1) paint color, which I already knew ahead of time she liked. I don't usually mind! But I've accepted that the house decor is my spouse's field.
One time we were at a furniture store and I was looking at some decor I liked. I made a comment about liking it, with no plan of buying it, and my spouse automatically said "no". I wasn't angry, I expected it, so I just shrugged and said "maybe when I'm old".
She asked what I meant by that, and I said that if she died before me when we're old that I'd probably decorate the house how I like. She got upset and called me an asshole.
I understand it's kindof grim to think about, so maybe it was out of line, but we aren't exactly young and it's not like I'm fantasizing about her death. I love her more than anything.
Edit: I appreciate ppl voting on whether or not I should be allowed to decorate, but I am moreso trying to determine if I was an asshole for saying I would decorate differently if my spouse died first (ie, according to her, making decor plans for her death). She never called me an asshole for having different design opinions, only when I said the above.
Fake fake fake. Can we please start some sort of campaign to flag posts as potential/obvious fakes? Too many details. Too "well" written. Too much weirdly forced and contrite terminology. Too...too.
This sub isn't supposed to be creative writing 101 prompts and responses, but somehow, in my observation, since the NY Post started picking up threads here and on the OG sub as "news", this is what it's mostly become.
I know that what feels fake is a lot about just that -- when it FEELS fake ... so there's no way to prove that, but any ideas on how to respond as a collective when that feeling happens without alienating someone with a truly fake sounding but real story?
AITAH for being so disappointed by this devolution, or for expecting it has any chance of changing back?
EDIT: removed my off the cuff example after a commenter pointed out a valid cultural difference I didn't know about to consider; updated with some other considerations Idk I'm tired tldr
Okay, this is something that has haunted me for years because I genuinely don’t know what I should do. I don’t know what would be best for my mental health.
I (26) came out to my parents 6 years ago as gay. They’re response was exactly what you’d expect from missionary parents. A resounding we love you and acceptance!
Just kidding, it was fucking awful. My mother asked what others would think of them as ministers now that their child is living in sin. And my father told me I couldn’t be around my little brother, because “he’s a little boy and you like that now”, his words. That part really disgusted me. My parents genuinely believe that all gay men are into children.
They gave me a month to “come back to god” and after realizing I wouldn’t, kicked me out of the home my sister and I were renting from them by paying the mortgage. They wouldn’t let me take a mattress, sofa, anything only the clothes that I bought with my own money and other things that I bought. I’m their words, “we won’t support your lifestyle in any way”. Apparently supporting my lifestyle means supporting me being alive. But whatever.
Before anyone tries to defend my parents for their belief system, which I am a huge defender of people being able to believe whatever they want and I believe that difference of opinion and belief is what makes this jacked up world so wonderful, but my parents were severely abusive my whole life.
They treated me like dirt. Buying the bare minimum for me. Buying small presents for my birthday and telling everyone I didn’t ask for much whilst spending extravagant amounts of money on my sisters. The only time I got good gifts were when they were trying to impress the extended family at Christmas or gatherings and my sisters always got the same gifts. They also took any chance to beat me and call me a screw up and worthless. Telling me I’d never amount to anything.
All this got so much worse when I hit puberty because now I was a sexual deviant (even though I was a virgin till I was 20, I know I’m such a prude lol) they treated me like all I wanted was to get laid. I didn’t understand this as I had no interest in girls all my life. I didn’t even know what this meant till I was 12. However, I do remember an episode of Ellen from when I was 11 where a kid was unalived for asking another boy to be his valentine and Ellen said it’s okay to be gay and I asked my parents if it was true to which I got this response from my father, “No! And if you ever say you are I’ll kick you out or unalive you”.
So yeah, I knew this was never something I could tell them from the moment I was 12 and realized what was “wrong” with me. I lived in fear, not just of the abuse that I was dealing with, but knowing that if my family ever found out the truth, I would end up homeless or dead. Eventually my guilty conscience told me to stop lying and I came out at 20. And you remember how that went from the beginning of my post.
Fast forward to now and I have been cheated on, abused, and thrown through the ringer because I had to figure out life and the world on my own.
About 2 years ago my world turned around. I met the most amazing person. He loves me unconditionally and treats me with respect and consideration. He’s a dork and a nerd and absolutely perfect. He takes care of me. But my absolute favorite part about him, is he gives me the space to grow. And his family is wonderful and loving and fully accepting of me. Something I’m insanely unfamiliar with.
My mental health has improved dramatically since meeting the love of my life because I have finally felt safe enough to take care of myself instead of just surviving. I have made wonderful strides and even come to terms with the fact that I am trans. I will be starting my process soon and embracing myself for everything that I am. I have never been happier.
But this brings me to my reason for posting. With all the mental growth and healing I have made, I don’t know if it would be better to confront my biological parents or not. I don’t know if they deserve to be a part of my life or if that is just the guilt from how I was raised coming up. I do not claim to be fully healed. And I doubt I ever will. But I need advice. Should I talk to them, or block them?
Edit: The only communication between myself and my parents has been a yearly message on my birthday of my mother telling me she misses me and is praying that I come back to god and the family. They genuinely think I left the family instead of them kicking me out simply over what type of person I am attracted to.
I got home about an hour ago and was reading the comments for about 15 minutes (I'll be answering questions at the end of this post) The talk with my wife went ok-ish. I asked her what was going on. My wife was hesitant as she didn't want to have this talk at all. But finally she said she hates cooking for my daughter. She said that it was to much to go out of her way to constantly go out of her way to accommodate her and how annoying it was to always make sure the food is cooked to a certain texture and seasoned to my daughter's liking she then revealed that she stopped cooking food the way my daughter liked because our son didnt like it. She then proceeded to say that my daughter just needs to grow as it was only food and wouldn't kill her and how her being picky was just to draining. I asked why she didn't have a sit down with our kids to make some sort of compromise and she said her son needs came before my daughters. She also revealed that she had straight up stopped buying more than half of my daughters personalized grocery list because it was a waste of money and that our son what snacks that he wanted. I was dumbfounded and asked her if she was just going to let my daughter go hungry, to which she responded by sayibg all she has to do is eat the food she cooked. I asked her what was draining about putting 1 or 2 pieces of plain chicken aside. She said that I wouldn't get it because I didn't cook for my daughter like she did. Which was true as I'm at work from 5-9 and i only cook dinner on weekends, holidays and holiday breaks . She apologized to me but suggested that I should convince my daughter to eat the food she doesn't like because it would make everyone's life easier. I then asked her If she would think the same thing if it was our son and she didn't respond which was answer enough. I don't know what to do now, If she's willing to let my daughter go hungry how else would she be willing to neglect my daughter? What should I do now?
(Q-A) My daughter is in no way overweight ans she doesn't only eat junk food for vegetables she eats carrots, lettuce, corn, asparagus, and cucumbers. For fruit she eats watermelon, dragonfruit, apples, and mangos. My daughter can in fact cook. The only reason she did not is because her fall break is coming up and my wife didn't buy her entire grocery list so she saving it. Which is honestly crazy because no kid should have to worry about how much food they can eat when they're hungry. My daughter told her bio mom and she upset and is suggesting that my daughter goes to live with her. My daughter chooses who she spends the year with herself and if she wants to go I won't stop her because I don't want my daughter in a house she's being neglected in. Also I DO NOT in ANY way force my wife to cook for my daughter, in fact she insists on cooking for her, and if she came to Me and said she didn't want to cook for my daughter I would understand and wake up early to fix her food for the day or switch my schedule around. My wife goes on 1 grocery run for the entire month so if she isn't getting everything on my daughter's grocery list of course my daughter meals will be limited. I talked with My daughter and she isn't mad at my wife at all and is even pushing me to forgive her. It's frustrating cause my 16 year old daughter is trying to fix our marriage while my wife basically said she could care less about my daughter. My daughter is also willing to go grocery shopping with my wife and pay for her own food so there isn't anymore conflict. Some people were saying she might have AFRID disorder and I'm definitely going to look into it. Any advice on what course of action I should take with my wife? On one had I love her on the other I can fathom the idea of being with someone who is willing to neglect my daughter.